


Little By Little

by ADifferentTime



Series: Seal Our Fates [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Baby Harry Potter, Family, Fluff, Growing Up, Kid Fic, Love, M/M, Referenced Child Abuse, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Raise Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-27 16:06:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30125343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADifferentTime/pseuds/ADifferentTime
Summary: He's ashamed to admit it but in his own grief surrounding the events of that Halloween night in 1981, it took him the better part of two years to begin to wonder about little Harry. He had been the one thing that had held them all together even as they'd started to drift apart, suspicion in every look and word between them, and now he was out there alone somewhere without any of them to tell him just how much he was loved. Just like him.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Seal Our Fates [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2217309
Comments: 12
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**_October 31, 1981 - November 4, 1981_ **

People were celebrating and all he wanted to do was scream.

He understood, really he did, the war had been long and deadly and now it was over, but the celebrations around him just shoved the shards of glass further into his heart. He couldn't celebrate, he didn't even care that the war had ended, because on that fateful Halloween night he'd lost everything. He'd lost his friends and he'd lost _him_. The man he loved. Still, even after all of it, he still loved him somewhere deep in his heart and it was just another reason to hate himself because after all, how could he still love someone like that.

He knew that they'd all suspected him when it was discovered that they had a mole in the Order. He was the obvious choice. He was a werewolf and that made some of the Order members wary of him anyway and the fact that many of his missions were classified and only shared between him, Dumbledore, and Moody meant that there was even more reason to suspect him because he'd come back, after weeks and sometimes months away, tight lipped and unyielding. He hadn't cared when it was just members of the Order who he wasn't the close to, their opinions didn't matter to him, but he'd seen it slowly leak into the people closest to him and that had bothered him more than he could say. He'd never really believed that they'd turn on him like that.

It had hurt but he hadn't let it show. Some small part of him had understood, even when he hadn't wanted to. Sirius had been his most staunch supporter when the others had first started to suspect him but he'd slowly drifted away as well, throwing Remus suspicious looks when he thought he wasn't looking, and it had broken his heart a little because this was the man who was supposed to love him, who'd smiled and laughed and held him close, who'd whispered _I love you_ into his skin night after night, and he was now looking at him like he was a stranger. It hurt more than he ever thought it could.

But still, he'd stood by him, even when he noticed the looks and wanted more than anything to confront him about it. Looking back, he wondered if Sirius had just been looking at him like that because he'd been wondering if Remus was suspicious of _him_.

Because that was the story wasn't it? Sirius Black had sold out his friends and led Voldemort right to them in the end. Remus had been on a mission trying to recruit a particularly uninterested pack to join the war and help them fight when he'd first heard and his entire being had screamed that they were wrong, that there had been a misunderstanding somehow, and he'd fought against it. He'd left his mission immediately, they wouldn't be needing allies for a war that was over anyway, and he'd gone straight to Moody with his conviction that Sirius was innocent. 

When that had gotten him nowhere, he'd gone to Dumbledore, sure that the man would do something. Dumbledore had sat him down and explained the facts to him but something in Remus wouldn't let him hear it. He flat out refused and insisted that Sirius was innocent because despite the fact that their last conversation had been a fight, despite the fact that the evidence seemed to be against him, despite the fact that Sirius allegedly told the aurors that he'd killed Lily and James, Remus felt in his heart that they were missing something.

Because Sirius couldn't do something like that. There was no way, in no world, where Sirius Black would turn on James Potter. It just didn't make sense, and so, something had to be wrong. Remus could remember Sirius and James, inseparable since they were eleven. He could remember Sirius clutching at his hand and the shine of tears in his eyes when James had asked him to be Harry's godfather. He could remember every smile and laugh and sweet moment of Sirius with the Potters and he could never, _would_ never, do anything that would cause them harm. Remus had believed that to his very core.

But he had the facts laid out in front of him by multiple people in the days that followed James and Lily's deaths and finally, he felt a sliver of doubt creep into his heart, because what if he was wrong? What if Sirius really did this and they just hadn't seen it coming because they, like him, had been convinced of it's impossibility? It felt like someone had taken a sharp jagged knife and rammed it into him repeatedly. He was breathless with it and all he wanted to do was scream but he couldn't get the breath to do it. He'd lost everything in one night.

People were celebrating and all he wanted to do was _scream_.

* * *

**_October 14, 1983_ **

He's ashamed to admit it but as caught up as he was in his own grief surrounding the events of that Halloween night in 1981, it had taken him the better part of two years to begin to wonder about little Harry. He had been the one thing that had held them all together even as they'd started to drift apart, suspicion in every look and word between them, and now he was out there alone somewhere without any of them to tell him just how much he was loved. Just like him.

It was strange to think about him now, this little boy who had once meant so much to him, but he felt an ache in his heart as he did. It seemed to be the only thing that could break through the blinding guilt and anger that pushed him through life now and he wanted to hold onto that, even if it still hurt to think about. He wanted to see the boy, that seemed to be the most important thing to him since he'd first let the name cross his mind after so long. 

He didn't know where Harry was, not really, but he did remember Lily mentioning a sister. He also remembered her ranting to him about her sister's husband only a few months after she'd married James. They'd gone to visit and when they'd come back home, James had seemed a bit closed off and Lily had immediately dragged Remus off the sofa, where he'd been lounging with Sirius, and into the bedroom where she proceeded to let out all of her frustration.

He remembered her saying something about her sister's husband making thinly veiled comments about James' darker skin before he'd called him a slur outright during the pudding. Lily had gotten angry and demanded that her sister say something to her own husband and that they both apologize and from what he recalled, it hadn't gone very well on either count. 

He didn't think that Dumbledore would leave Harry with someone like that but then again, what other option was there? It wasn't as if there was anyone left to take him besides Remus himself and he'd been a wreck after that night. It was probably for the best because it wasn't as if anyone was going to give a werewolf custody of a kid anyway and having Harry taken away without a word to him about it probably hurt less than if he'd asked and been rejected. So, it made sense that Harry would be with Lily's sister.

If only he could remember her name. It had been another flower name, like Lily's, he was sure of that. It had started with a P, he was pretty sure. Now if he could just dig it out of his memory.

Peony? No, that didn't sound right. Pansy, maybe, but that didn't sound exactly right either. 

He thought hard, letting himself remember as he hadn't in years, and he could almost see Lily pacing in front of him as he closed his eyes. Her cheeks flushed and her posture screaming anger but still with a hint of sadness in her eyes that he didn't think he was supposed to see and he could almost see her mouth forming the name.

Tuney, a childhood nickname that he remembered Lily saying that her sister hated but that she still used out of habit anyway. And just like that, the name came to him.

Petunia Dursley, that was her name. Remus could find her easily, after all, how many people in England could have such a horrid name?  
___

He'd tried magical means of finding her first, casting a locator spell and all, but it hadn't worked. He really should have expected that, after all it wasn't as if Dumbledore wouldn't have placed at least some precautions when he'd taken Harry into the muggle world, but it was still an annoying delay to have to figure it out using muggle means. It took him a little while, but he was eventually able to locate her by using a phone book and finding her name and number in it.

He had no intention of calling her but it did narrow his search for her to a general area of England instead of the whole country. From there, all he had to do was apparate to Surrey and begin his search. It didn't take him very long, just a quick trip to the court house and a couple of well placed confundus charms to check the records and he had an address.

It was a bit worrying how easy it was for him to find Harry even without magic but he supposed that he did have to have a bit of foreknowledge to get him here in the first place so perhaps it was okay anyway.  
___

When he walked up to the house, he spotted Harry almost immediately. He was sitting by himself and pushing a little broken car along the walkway that led up to the house and Remus was a little surprised that when he glanced around, there wasn't an adult in sight. Harry was wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and a long-sleeved t-shirt, both of which seemed far too big on him. No shoes or jacket or hat. That was odd as well given that it was early autumn and there was a bit of chill in the air.

"Hello." He said softly, not even aware that he'd spoken until Harry glanced up at him.

Remus had to restrain the gasp that wanted to make it's way to his lips. He'd forgotten that Harry shared Lily's piercing green eyes and he'd even forgotten that the boy looked so similar to his father which left him a little breathless as he got his first full look at him.

"Hi." Harry said quietly before going back to playing with his car. Remus cleared his throat and shook his head before kneeling down in front of the boy.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked, keeping his voice gentle so he didn't spook the boy. "It's a bit chilly don't you think?"

Harry shrugged one shoulder. "Broke a plate."

"Okay." Remus said, not sure what that had to do with anything but Harry was quick to elaborate.

"It wasn't on purpose." He insisted, his eyes going wide. He held his hand up and Remus could see a cut along his palm. "Aunt Petunia got angry, sent me outside."

"So you're just sitting here?" Remus asked, keeping his anger in check. He couldn't understand why the hell they were sending a child outside in the cold just because he'd accidentally broken a plate. 

Harry shrugged again as if it didn't matter, pushing the little broken car along the walkway once again, making a light scraping noise due to the missing wheels. Remus took a deep breath and shook his head once more.

"May I see your hand, Harry?" He asked and Harry looked up at him with wide eyes.

"You know my name?" He asked and Remus realized what he'd said.

"Of course." Remus answered. "I've known you since you were born."

Harry glanced over his shoulder toward the door of the house before leaning closer to him.

"Are you magic?" He asked in a hushed voice filled with awe. "Uncle Vernon says magic isn't real."

"Uncle Vernon is wrong." Remus said, taking Harry's hand gently in his own.

The cut was long and deep and he noted that it looked as if nothing had been done for it. He knew of muggle hospitals and stitches through his mother and he wondered why no one had taken Harry to have his hand looked at when it was obviously in need of care but he was slowly coming to realize that maybe these people didn't care at all and that made him that much more angry. This was Harry, James and Lily's Harry, he should be surrounded by love at all times and it was obvious that that wasn't the case here.

He glanced around to make sure that no one was watching before he took his wand out and tapped it against Harry's hand, murmuring soft healing spells that he knew well at this point, and Harry's mouth popped open in surprise as he watched the cut seal and disappear.

"Wow." He said softly and Remus smiled before his eye caught on something else.

Harry's sleeve on his too big shirt had slid back as Remus worked on his hand and he glimpsed what was clearly bruises on his arm and his brow furrowed as he reached over to touch it gently.

"What happened?" Remus asked and Harry jerked away violently, his eyes going even wider as he shook his head back and forth. "Hey, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."

"I'm not supposed to say." Harry said, chewing his lip anxiously. His shoulders were hunched in and he looked as if he was just waiting for a blow to fall.

Remus clenched his teeth together, already sure where this was going, but he didn't want to scare Harry with the boiling rage that was just under his skin so he didn't let it show on his face. 

"It's alright, Harry." He said, knowing that using the boys name might help convince him to talk to him. "You can trust me."

Harry looked at him for a long moment, seeming to study him with eyes that were more intelligent than they should be for someone his age, before he glanced over his shoulder at the door to the house once more. 

"Uncle Vernon got angry." He said, his voice almost a whisper. His eyes flickered up to meet Remus'. "He gets angry a lot."

"Does he?" Remus asked and Harry nodded, dropping his eyes to the ground. He pushed the car once more.

"He doesn't like me." Harry said, sounding matter of fact. He didn't look sad or disappointed by these words merely resigned.

"Well, I like you." Remus said, reaching out to ruffle his hair lightly as a plan formed in his head. "Listen Harry, I've got to go do something but do you think it would be alright if I came to visit you again?"

"You'll come back?" Harry asked, seeming almost shy about it.

"Of course." Remus assured him. "I promise."

"Okay." Harry said with a nod. "I'd like that."

"Me too." Remus said, ruffling his hair once more before standing. He glanced up at the house once more, astonished that they were still alone, before he looked down at Harry. "I'll try to come back very soon, alright?"

"Okay." Harry nodded. 

Remus looked at him for a few moments longer and had to resist the urge to just scoop him up and leave with him in that moment but he also knew that if he did that it would cause more problems than it would solve and so he just turned on his heal and disapparated. He didn't even care if someone saw him literally disappear into thin air, he was on a mission and he wouldn't let anything distract him from his goal.

* * *

He landed on the sidewalk just outside the Leaky Cauldron and pushed the door open to enter easily. He didn't intend on staying long, instead he made his way to the fireplace where the Floo Powder that would take him straight to Hogsmeade was. He nodded at the barman as he passed but didn't pause in his steps and soon he was rushing through the Floo system.

He came out in the Three Broomsticks and Rosmerta greeted him happily and he gave her a friendly smile but still didn't pause. He was on a mission and he wouldn't let anything distract him from his goal. The walk up to Hogwarts Castle was cold, the weather here in Scotland was already far cooler than it had been in Surrey, but he just pulled his robes around him further and kept going.

He was surprisingly greeted at the gates by Professor Flitwick, who seemed surprised to see him, but thankfully he didn't ask too many questions when Remus told him that he needed to speak to Dumbledore and instead just led him into the castle. He noted on the walk to the front doors that there were quiet a few students lounging around on the grass or sitting in groups which made him remember quiet suddenly that it was a weekend which explained why Flitwick was just hanging about by the gates. There were no classes that day.

He shook off the thought as they stepped into the castle itself and started up the stairs and he took a few deep breaths as he tried to work out what to say when he got to Dumbledore's office. They were halfway there when they ran into Professor McGonagall.

"Remus, what a surprise to see you here." She said, sounding genuinely happy about it.

"I, um, need to talk to Dumbledore about something." He said, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck.

"Oh?" She inquired. "Is something wrong?"

He glanced at Professor Flitwick for a moment.

"Um, it has to do with Harry." He said evasively and he noticed her eyes narrow slightly.

"Filius, I believe that I can escort Mr. Lupin the rest of the way." She said after a moment. "You can go back to your duties."

Professor Flitwick looked between them for a moment before nodding and turning to walk back the way they'd just come without comment. Remus looked at Professor McGonagall in question and she gave him a serious look.

"I told Albus that those muggles he left Harry with were the worst sort of people." She said. "I would prefer to be there when you speak to him, if it's alright with you."

"Oh, um, of course Professor." He said, surprised by her words. 

He almost expected her to say more but she just gave a firm nod and led him the rest of the way to the entrance of the office where she gave the password confidently before coming up the staircase with him. She knocked firmly on the door before he even had a chance to raise his hand and they were beckoned in quickly.

When they stepped into the room he noticed that not much had changed since he'd been a student himself which sort of made since when he considered that he hadn't left school all that long ago even when it felt like he'd lived an entire other life since his time here. Professor Dumbledore was sitting at his desk and scribbling something on a piece of parchment. When he glanced up, he seemed entirely unsurprised to see Remus which unnerved him a bit.

"Mr. Lupin." He greeted, laying his quill down on the desk in front of him and folding his hands together. "What brings you here today?"

"I want Harry." He said seriously. "He's my godson and my responsibility. I know I've fallen short in the last couple of years but I'm ready to take him now."

"Sirius Black was Harry's godfather from my understanding." Dumbledore said, giving him a look he couldn't quite decipher. "And you and Mr. Black were not married."

"We were as good as." Remus snapped, not wanting to even think about Sirius right now. "You know that. Harry deserves to be with people who care about him and not that vile family."

"They are his family." Dumbledore said.

"I don't care." He snapped. "Petunia Dursley hated her sister and she hated magic and her husband is a prejudiced asshole who called James slurs. Can you imagine what Harry's going through in a home like that with people who hate everything about him? Have you even checked on him at all?"

"You seem quite passionate about this, Remus." Dumbledore said, studying him. "Can I take that to mean that you've been to see the boy?"

"I have." Remus said. "I wanted to check on him and what I found was not a good situation. He was outside in the cold by himself and no one even came to check on him. I could easily have taken him and disappeared before anyone even noticed and if I could do it, then so could someone else. They can't protect him and I doubt they'd even try."

"He must stay with them." Dumbledore said and Remus clenched his hands into fists to keep himself from yelling at the man. "That night in Godric's Hallow, when Lily cast herself between Harry and Voldemort, she provided a protection. It was ancient magic, far older than even Hogwarts itself, and it created blood wards that will protect Harry until he comes of age but only if he remains with blood relatives of his mother."

"Blood Wards?" Remus asked. "That's your protection? Are you kidding me? Magic like that is notoriously finicky and unreliable and that's what you're counting on to protect him? There are other ways, better ways, to protect him."

"I've checked the wards myself, Remus." He said. "They're strong. They'll keep him safe but only if he remains where he is."

"No." Remus said shaking his head. "I don't care how strong you believe they are, it's no reason to leave Harry in a home where he's being abused. I'll put up every ward in the book, I'll do everything in my power to protect him, but I will not stand by while he's being hurt by the family that _you_ left him with."

He heard an intake of breath from behind him reminding him rather suddenly that he and Dumbledore weren't alone in the room. Professor McGonagall came to stand next to him and seemed to study his face.

"What do you mean abused?" She asked. He looked at her for a moment before his eyes went back to Dumbledore.

"When I went to see him, he was outside like I said, but he was outside with no shoes or jacket or anything and it's cold outside." He said seriously. "And when I asked him why he was outside, he told me that he accidentally broke a plate and they sent him outside because of it. He had a cut on his hand that he definitely should have been taken to hospital for, I healed it for him, and when his sleeve fall back a bit I noticed that he had bruises on his arm. _Bruises_ , Dumbledore. They're _hurting_ him."

"Perhaps the bruises were just from some normal childhood injury." Dumbledore suggested and Remus glared at him.

"They weren't." He snapped. "When I asked him about them, he seemed panicked that he'd get in trouble for telling and when I managed to calm him, he told me that he got them because his uncle got angry. Said he got angry a lot."

"Remus is right, Albus." Professor McGonagall said firmly. "We can't leave him with those people. I expressed my concern with leaving him there two years ago but I cannot, in good conscious, leave him there now. Especially when he has someone who cares about him who's willing to take him in."

"And just what will you do with him during the full moon?" Dumbledore asked, his voice still that calm monotone that Remus hated. It made him want to lash out further rather than calming him as he suspected it was meant to do. 

"I'll watch him." McGonagall said, surprising both of them. "Or he could stay with Molly Weasley. I know she wouldn't mind and she's got a boy about his age as well that I think Harry would get along with."

"You're serious about this then?" Dumbledore asked, looking at him fully.

"Yes." Remus said. "James and Lily were my best friends, the least I could do after everything is make sure that their son is taken care of."

Dumbledore seemed to study both him and McGonagall for a long time but seeing that neither of them were willing to budge on the matter he stood and moved across the room to stand in front of them.

"Very well." He said, seeming resigned. "I suppose we have some work to do then."

* * *

From there, it took a few days to get everything settled. Remus took them to the little cottage in Yorkshire where he'd been living, a little embarrassed by the poor state of the place, but that was easily remedied by McGonagall who used her magic to fix the place up quickly. He worked with Dumbledore to place wards around the entire property that would keep out anyone that he didn't personally allow inside and others that prevented the entrance of any Dark creatures, though those were a bit more tricky because they had to work him into the wards given that he was technically in that category, and finally they placed a Fidelius Charm over the residence. He selected McGonagall as his Secret Keeper rather than Dumbledore. 

When the cottage was as safe as they could make it, Dumbledore handed over the key to the Potter vault in Gringott's that he'd somehow acquired and told him to use the funds to look after Harry and Remus vowed not to use it for anything but Harry. He didn't feel right taking the money for himself but he'd do it for Harry. He'd do anything for Harry.

Finally, four days after the last time he'd approached the house on Privet Drive, he found himself standing before it again but this time he had McGonagall and Dumbledore by his side. He forced himself to take a deep breath as Dumbledore knocked on the door in front of them. The woman who answered looked nothing like Lily which surprised him a bit as he'd expected to notice at least some similarities.

"Can I help you?" She asked, not even opening the door fully. She was looking at their clothes disdainfully and her eyes were darting around as if she was afraid that someone might see them.

"Hello, my name is Albus Dumbledore, I'm the Headmaster of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry." Dumbledore said. "This is Professor Minerva McGonagall and Mr. Remus Lupin. We're here to see Harry, may we come in?"

She stared at them for long enough that Remus almost thought that she would refuse but finally she beckoned them inside and closed the door behind them quickly before leading them into the sitting room.

"Wait here." She said, seeming a bit nervous. "I'll go get the boy."

McGonagall shared a glance with him when she hurried out of the room but neither of them said anything as they waited for Harry to be brought into the room. Remus let his eyes wonder around and he noticed the pictures of Petunia and the man that must have been her husband alongside about a million pictures of a little boy that couldn't be anyone's but theirs. He noted that there were no pictures of James and Lily or of Harry, in fact there was no evidence at all that another little boy lived in the house. For some reason that made him even more angry with these people and he could understand clearly why James hadn't liked them that much.

Harry was quite literally pushed into the room by the hand that his aunt had on his shoulder and Remus noticed he stumbled a bit at the push which made him want to snap at the woman but he just took another deep breath and reminded himself that Harry wouldn't have to deal with them anymore after today. Harry glanced around almost curiously and his eyes widened when they landed on Remus.

"You came back." He said, seeming happy but also surprised.

"I promised I would, didn't I?" Remus asked, giving him a smile. "I brought a couple of friends as well."

"Are they magic too?" Harry asked in excitement, almost literally bouncing over to them.

"Yes, they are." He said, his smile growing.

"Wow." Harry said, looking up at them. Remus saw McGonagall smile at Harry.

"You've seen him now." Petunia said harshly. "I don't appreciate you filling his head with nonsense so why don't you tell me why you're here so you can be on your way."

"We've come to take Harry." Remus said and he noticed her pause slightly.

"What do you mean take Harry?" She asked, glancing at the boy.

"Harry's parents made me his godfather." He said seriously, figuring the little white lie wouldn't matter. Neither Dumbledore nor McGonagall called him on it which was a relief considering that Dumbledore had corrected him in his office only a few days before. "I was unable to care for him when his parents first passed but things have changed so I'll be taking him now."

"I would think it a relief for you." McGonagall said, raising her eyebrow. "Now you need only look after your own child and you won't have to worry about Harry. He'll be with someone who knows how to handle the occasional outbursts of magic that he will begin to have as he gets older and you can focus on your own family."

"Fine." Petunia snapped. "Take him and good riddance. He's nothing but trouble anyway."

Remus saw Harry's face fall slightly as his shoulders hunched and he moved to pick the boy up to keep himself from doing something stupid like cursing the woman in front of them. Harry looked at him curiously with an almost surprised look on his face as if he'd never been picked up in his life making Remus hold him closer.

"I'm going with you?" He asked in a small voice.

"Yes." Remus said, putting all his focus on Harry. "Is that alright?"

"Yes." Harry said, nodding as a smile made it's way onto his face.

"I'll gather his things." Petunia said, stomping out of the room, but Remus didn't pay any attention to her.

All his attention was on Harry and he made a vow to himself right then that he'd do everything in his power to make sure that Harry never felt like he was worthless again. He couldn't believe that people could treat this little boy as anything but the amazing person that he was and somehow it was even worse that it was his family that had treated him in such a way. 

When Petunia returned with nothing but a small shopping bag filled with two pairs of clothes and that broken car that Remus remembered him playing with he saw McGonagall's lips twist in a way he was all too familiar with showing her displeasure but he didn't comment. He knew that if he opened his mouth right now he'd likely start yelling and he refused to do that in front of Harry because he didn't want to scare him. 

He just nodded at her and spun on his heal to walk towards the door with McGonagall and Dumbledore following after him while Harry clung a little tighter to him. He ran his hand through his hair in what he hoped was a calming gesture before patting his back lightly. 

"How will you be getting home?" McGonagall asked quietly as they stepped out into the yard. "You can't apparate with him, he's much too small."

"I'll take a cab." Remus said, having already thought about it.

"Alright then." She said, seeming unhappy with his answer but not contradicting him. She pressed her hand against Harry's back gently. "I'll contact Molly today about looking after him during the next full moon and get back to you. If she can't do it then I'll be happy to, I meant that."

"Thank you, Professor." He said and it was then that she gave him a small amused smile.

"I'm not your teacher anymore, Remus." She said. "There's no need to continue calling me Professor. You can just use my name, after all I'm sure we'll be seeing plenty of each other in the next few years."

"Alright." He returned her smile. "Minerva then."

Her eyes were sparkling as she gave Harry one last pat. "I'll speak to you soon."

And just like that she was gone, leaving him standing on the sidewalk with Harry in his arms and Dumbledore standing next to him.

"I wish you well, Remus." He said.

Remus wasn't sure how sincere the man was being, after all he'd been the one who wanted to leave Harry with the Dursley's in the first place, but he just gave him a nod and began making his way down the street to find a payphone where he could call a cab. He heard the crack that told him that Dumbledore had gone but he didn't even glance backwards. He had something much more important to think about.

When the cab finally came, he climbed into the back and sat Harry on his lap before giving an address that was close to the cottage knowing that no one else would actually be able to see the actual place they'd be living due to the wards and he let out a long breath as the driver pulled out onto the road and settled in for the drive.

"Where are we going?" Harry asked, only a few minutes into the drive.

"Home." Remus said softly, running his hand through Harry's hair again. "We're going home, Harry."


	2. Chapter 2

**October 18, 1983**

When they finally arrived at the cottage, Remus was quick to get Harry inside and out of sight just in case someone was lingering around. He felt much better once the door was closed behind them, locking out the rest of the world, as Harry napped on his shoulder. The boy had fallen asleep halfway through the drive and Remus didn't have the heart to wake him so he'd just carried him for the short walk from where they'd been dropped off to the cottage but now he was faced with the issue of laying him down in the bed that he'd set up for him in the second bedroom of the cottage without waking him up.

He made his way up the short set of stairs to the second floor, rocking Harry gently as he went, until he reached the door to the room which he pushed open with his foot. He had to shift Harry in his arms to pull the blankets back before laying him onto the bed slowly. Harry let out a soft huff and his grip on Remus tightened for a moment before he let go and seemed to settle into the mattress. Remus tucked the blankets around him and stepped back, letting out a long breath as he stared at the little boy who looked so much like his father that it almost physically hurt to look at him, until he was finally able to pull himself away. 

He tiptoed out of the room but left the door open so that he could hear Harry if he started crying and made his way downstairs to the kitchen. He put the kettle on to heat before sitting at the table and running a hand through his hair. It was hitting him suddenly, now that he was finally alone in his cottage with no one but Harry, that he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. He didn't know how to be a parent or look after a child and it was a little frightening to realize that he was all Harry had now. He was sure he'd end up fucking it up but there were no other options. There was absolutely no way that he'd let Harry go back to the Dursley's and there was no one else that he'd trust to look after him so he'd just have to suck it up. He'd never pictured his life going the way it had but he would do his best with Harry and just hope that he didn't mess up too drastically.

He knew he couldn't let himself think about how terrifying it was to be left alone to raise Harry or he'd start spiraling so he just made a pot of tea and forced his mind to focus on something else, which is how he ended up with a pad of paper on the table in front of him where he was making a note of everything they needed. He'd gotten money from the Potter vault and had it converted to muggle currency for exactly that reason. One thing he knew was that he'd have to get clothes for Harry as none of the clothing that had been hastily shoved in the bag that Petunia Dursley had given him fit the boy. He also knew that he wanted to get some toys for Harry to play with as it seemed that the boy didn't have any of his own apart from that broken car and it was probably a good idea to do a little grocery shopping as well as the cabinets were a little bare at the moment. He began writing a separate list of all the items of food he wanted to pick up that they could take with them when they went out as well. 

He was so caught up in his list making that he didn't hear Harry coming down the stairs so he startled slightly when the boy seemed to just appear at the edge of the table by his elbow. He looked at the papers in front of Remus curiously before his green eyes settled fully on the man.

"Harry, you're awake." Remus said, though that was quiet obvious.

Harry didn't say anything, instead he climbed up onto the chair next to Remus and glanced from the teapot to the cup next to Remus' hand. He didn't ask for any, though he clearly wanted some, and Remus sighed quietly. It was obvious to him, both due to Harry's small size and the fact that he already knew that the Dursley's had treated Harry badly, that he likely hadn't been given enough to eat at that house either.

"Would you like some tea, Harry?" He asked gently. "And then we can go into town for a little shopping."

Harry nodded in response to his question but his eyes widened at the second part and Remus didn't understand why until Harry finally spoke.

"I get to go?" He asked. Remus pulled in a breath through his nose to calm himself before answering.

"Of course you get to go, Harry." He said as he got up to get a small cup for Harry and filled it with tea, adding a sugar cube to sweeten it a bit for him. "I wouldn't think of leaving you behind. Besides, you have to pick out some clothes. I don't know what you like, you'll have to show me."

"I get to pick?" He asked, holding his cup close to his chest almost protectively as if he was afraid it would get snatched away from him.

"Yes, you do." Remus said, giving Harry a small smile to reassure him. "Anything you want, okay?"

Harry nodded, though he had an almost skeptical look on his face, before he drank his tea quickly. Seeing him gulping down the drink, Remus was just glad that it had cooled down a bit before he'd come downstairs or else he definitely would have burned himself. Once he was finished with his tea, Remus waved his wand and sent both cups and the pot to the sink while Harry watched with wonder on his face before he helped him down from the chair and took his hand.

He looked at him for a moment, in his too big clothes, and waved his wand once more to make them fit a bit better. It wouldn't last forever but it would do until they got him some new clothes. Harry looked down at his outfit as it shrunk to fit him before looking up at Remus was a big smile that made his heart ache a little but he shook it away and lead Harry out the front door.

He made sure to cast a few discrete spells to check the area around the cottage before he took Harry out of the wards but when he didn't find anything out of the ordinary, he relaxed a bit. He was glad that the cottage was only a short walk away from a small muggle city which was nowhere near any wizarding establishments, a decision he'd made on purpose even before Harry had come to live with him, because it meant that they could go relatively unnoticed. He knew that with their vastly different skin tones that it would warrant a few stray glances but it would be nowhere near the attention they'd receive if he dared to venture into the wizarding world. He knew that most people would assume he was married and that Harry had gotten his coloring from his mother and Remus would do nothing to discourage that assumption. It was much safer that way.

___

When they got to town, he noted a few glances but most people left them alone just like he'd assumed they would. He hadn't come into town that much since he'd been living in the cottage so he knew that not many people would recognize him so there would be no one to wonder about his sudden acquisition of a child and no one to ask too many questions that he couldn't answer.

Harry kept a tight grip on his hand as they walked down the sidewalk but his eyes were roaming over the shops around them so much that he didn't seem to notice at first when they stopped walking. Remus tugged lightly at his hand to get his attention before motioning at the clothing store they'd stopped in front of and leading him inside. Harry looked a bit overwhelmed at first, looking at everything with wide eyes, before he started walking toward the racks hesitantly.

Remus noticed him keep glancing over at his face with every couple of steps and he gave him a small smile before nodding at the clothes and following behind Harry. He started looking through them himself and picked out a few plain t-shirts that he was sure would fit before taking a few sizes of jeans off the rack that he intended to have Harry try on so he could get the correct size while Harry himself seemed to be looking at shirts with prints on them.

"See something you like, Harry?" He asked softly. Harry shrugged lightly as he looked up at him and Remus repressed a sigh as he knelt in front of Harry. "Remember what I said? You can pick anything you like, anything at all, it's alright."

"How many?" Harry asked, staring at the printed shirts once more.

"However many you want." Remus said immediately.

"And I can pick any?" Harry asked, seeming hesitant. Remus glanced at the shirts in front of them for a moment before nodding.

"Of course." Remus said.

"Can I have that one?" Harry asked, pointing at one near the middle of the display. Remus noted that it was a plum color and had a unicorn on the front with stars all around it.

"Is that the one that you want?" Remus asked. Harry nodded. "Then of course you can have it."

He stood up and looked for Harry's size before handing it to the boy to hold. Harry took it, still seeming hesitant, and Remus noticed that he kept his eyes on him as if waiting for something.

"What's wrong?" He asked gently, kneeling down once more.

"You're sure I can have this?" He asked, clutching the shirt tight.

"Why would you not be able to have it?" Remus asked.

"Unicorns are for girls." Harry said, dropping his eyes to the floor. 

"Unicorns are for everyone." Remus said firmly. "If you like unicorns, there's nothing wrong with that. Unicorns are great."

Harry seemed to study him for a moment before a small smile crossed his face before he looked down at the shirt again.

"Thank you." Harry said softly. Remus ruffled his hair.

"Alright, let's find some other clothes." He said, adding the unicorn shirt to the small bundle laying over his arm.

He let Harry go through the whole store to pick out some more shirts and, after he tried on the pants and they got the right size, they picked out some of them as well. They also got some jumpers and two jackets as it was getting colder and Remus knew he needed them before they finally got some shoes. The girl working in the shoe section of the store measured Harry's feet before helping them find a couple pairs of shoes and a pair of wellies before they moved to the register to pay for all of it.

The woman working at the cash register, who looked to be in her mid-thirties, joked about how quickly children grew and how he'd need to buy a full new wardrobe in a few months which he hoped was actually a joke because he soon discovered that clothes were _expensive_. When they left the store, he ducked into an alleyway with Harry so he could shrink down the bags and boxes they'd gotten at the clothing store so he could shove them into his pocket and continue on with the shopping.

Their next stop was the toy store which went much the same as the clothing shopping but they didn't buy nearly as much this time. Harry allowed him to shrink down their bags from that store as well but kept a hold on the small stuffed dog he'd picked out of a basket of other plushies and Remus let him keep it as they made their way to the grocery store.

He was thankful to be able to put Harry into the trolley as he'd started to complain about all the walking in the toy store and this would give him a bit of a break before they had to walk back to the cottage. Remus stuck strictly to the list as he went through the store, though he did deviate slightly to buy a juice and a small bag of candy for Harry when he saw him looking, and the cart was quite full by the time he got to the till. 

Harry luckily seemed to get a second wind during the grocery shop because he skipped along beside Remus happily as they left the store, clutching his plush in one hand and his bag of candy in the other, and the image made Remus smile. He was glad to see Harry happy and smiling.  
___

When they finally made it back to the cottage, Remus put the groceries in the kitchen before going upstairs to unshrink the other bags and put them into the room that now belonged to Harry. When he came back downstairs, he opened Harry's candy for him and set his juice on the table before he began putting away the rest of the food. Harry watched him as he ate his candy slowly and Remus smiled over at him each time he caught his eye which seemed to make Harry smile shyly.

After putting everything away Remus started making dinner for the two of them, a simple pot of pasta with cheese sauce and fish fingers. It wasn't the healthiest meal but he figured that one meal wouldn't hurt. He'd plan their meals a bit more later but for now this was alright and it made Harry happy so he didn't mind all that much. He noticed that Harry hovered over his plate protectively like he'd done with his tea earlier in the day but Remus didn't comment on it, the last thing he wanted to do was make Harry uncomfortable. He just hoped that in the next few weeks or months that Harry would unlearn the habit and realize that he was safe here, that his food wasn't going to be taken away and that he would never be physically disciplined again, and until then they would cope together.

"Harry, you should take a bath after we have dinner and change into some pajamas." He said near the end of their meal. "Would you be okay with that?"

"A bath?" Harry asked, looking up at him. Remus studied him for a moment.

"You've had a bath before haven't you?" He asked gently and Harry shrugged.

"Aunt Petunia said it was too much water." He said and Remus sighed.

"How did you get clean then?" He asked.

"I had a flannel." Harry answered. "I used it on Sundays. Aunt Petunia washed my hair in the sink."

"Right." He said, trying not to show too much of a reaction even though he wanted to curse. "Well, today we're going to have a nice warm bath. Are you alright with that?"

"Yes." Harry nodded.

"Alright then." Remus said, going back to his food. "Good."

When they finally got upstairs, he ran a bath while Harry picked out a pair of pajama's from the clothes they'd gotten that day. He cast a cleaning charm on them before laying them on the bathroom counter and hanging a towel on the back of the door to be used later. He draped a flannel over the edge of the tub and laid out the kid's soap and shampoo that he'd picked up. Finally, Harry stood at the edge of the tub and glanced at him.

"Do you need help getting undressed?" He asked and Harry shook his head before he began tugging at his shirt.

It took him a minute but eventually he got the shirt over his head and dropped it to the floor and Remus had to force himself not to show a reaction even as his hand tightened on the edge of the tub hard enough that his knuckles went white. Harry had more bruises under his shirt than the ones that he'd seen the first day he'd gone to Privet Drive and looking at him now, Remus had to force himself not to go back and beat the shit of of Vernon Dursley.

There were a multitude of bruises climbing up Harry's arms and along his torso and abdomen. Some of them were green and fading but there were others, particularly a nasty looking one on his ribs, that were a dark shade of purple. Remus reached out almost without thinking and touched it lightly which made Harry pull away violently. Remus looked up at him and noticed his wide eyes and rapid breathing. 

"Hey, it's alright." He said, making his voice soft and gentle. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn't mean to."

Harry shook his head. "Hurts."

"It still hurts?" Remus asked and Harry nodded. Remus glanced at it once more before taking out his wand. "Remember when I healed your hand? May I heal the bruises as well?"

"Okay." Harry said softly, his eyes stuck on Remus' wand. Remus gave him a soft smile and tapped his wand against the bruises, murmuring soft healing spells, until all of them were gone from his skin.

"Alright, into the bath now." He said.

Harry was quick to finish undressing and climbed into the bath. He seemed happy enough to play with the bubbles floating on the surface and Remus allowed it for a while as he sat on the floor next to the tub but eventually he sat up to wash Harry's hair and help him wash his body before pulling him out and drying him off. He got dressed in his pajamas with his eyes already drooping slightly and Remus smiled as he lifted him into his arms and carried him across the hallway to his room.

He laid down easily and Remus tucked him in with his dog plushie before reading him a story. Harry was asleep before he was halfway through it and he sat it aside before pressing a soft kiss to Harry's forehead. He grabbed the bags from the floor that had Harry's new clothes in them and took them downstairs to throw into the washer before cleaning up the dishes from dinner. When he finally collapsed into bed an hour later it didn't take him long to drift off to sleep, it had been a long day.

* * *

**October 21, 1983**

In the few days since Harry had come to live with him, they'd gotten into a routine. Harry was an early riser, he was usually awake by six in the morning, but he usually stayed in his room until at least eight though that hadn't been true the first morning. Remus had very nearly had a heart attack when he'd woken to a loud banging noise and he'd rushed downstairs with his wand already raised where he'd found Harry with his knees on the counter and a pot on the floor in front of him.

Harry had promptly burst into tears and it had taken Remus half an hour to calm him down enough to get him to tell him what he was doing and when Harry told him that he'd been trying to make breakfast Remus had had two simultaneous reactions. One, which he was becoming intimately familiar with, of wanting to strangle the Dursley's because really what the hell were they thinking making a three year old make their breakfast for them? And two, fear. 

He'd promptly explained to Harry that he didn't have to make breakfast for them, that Remus would take care of that, before he banned him from going near the stove without Remus himself being present. So now, Harry would wait in his room until Remus woke up and they'd go downstairs together and have breakfast. From there, it was playtime for a couple of hours before Remus attempted to teach Harry his numbers and letters, sometimes they'd go play in the backyard by kicking around a football or just looking for bugs under rocks, which Harry seemed fond of. Then they'd have lunch before quiet time, in which Harry would sit happily in the corner looking over his picture books or playing with his plushie while Remus read one of his own books. 

After that, they'd play some more and Remus would produce sparks from the end of his wand as Harry seemed fascinated with magic and it would always pull a large smile from him that made Remus happy. Finally, they'd make dinner together and eat before going through their night time routine which consisted of bath time and a story. After Harry went to sleep Remus would clean up the house or, if it wasn't that messy, read a bit longer before going to bed himself. It worked for them so far but today, Remus was a bit on edge.

It was a full moon that night and McGonagall had written to him that morning to tell him that she'd come by later in the day to take both him and Harry to Molly Weasley's house, who had graciously agreed to look after Harry for the night, and he was a bit nervous to leave Harry with someone else even though he knew it was necessary. He didn't want Harry to think that he was abandoning him or anything and he wasn't sure how he'd take being left with someone he'd never met. He knew he needed to talk to him before they left the cottage though so he took a deep breath and looked at the boy. He was coloring on a piece of paper that was sitting on the table with his feet kicking back and forth.

"Harry." He said softly, getting his attention while trying not to startle him. He'd noticed quiet early on that loud noises or a raised voice made Harry nervous and he suspected it was because of his aunt and uncle.

"Hmm." Harry answered, his eyes not lifting from his paper.

"We need to talk about something." He said and Harry, perhaps in response to his serious tone, laid his crayon down and finally looked up to meet his eyes.

"Okay." He said softly, his nervousness obvious.

"Tonight, I've got to go somewhere." He said, keeping his eyes on Harry. "I won't be able to watch you so a friend of mine is going to look after you. She's got a little boy your age who I think you'll like. You don't have to worry, she's really nice."

He hadn't ever met Molly Weasley himself but he'd known her brothers because they'd been in the Order as well and he knew that McGonagall wouldn't have suggested Harry stay with her if she didn't trust the woman so he figured that he didn't need to worry about her being cruel to Harry or anything like that.

"You'll come back?" Harry asked, his voice small.

"I'll come back." He assured him. "I promise. It's just for one night and I'll be there the next morning to get you, you don't need to worry. I'd never leave you, Harry."

"Okay." Harry said.

Remus could tell that he was still a bit hesitant but he didn't argue which was a relief. If he'd argued or, god forbid, cried then Remus would have felt even worse for having to leave him.  
___

McGonagall showed up just after lunch and Harry looked at her with wide eyes, obviously recognizing her from a few days before, and she gave him a smile.

"Hello Harry, how are you?" She asked.

"Good." He said, ducking his head shyly and Remus had to suppress a grin.

Obviously McGonagall's ability to make even the most experienced witch or wizard intimidated extended to young children as well. 

"And how are you, Remus?" She asked, her voice going more serious as she studied him.

"I'm alright." He said, knowing exactly what she was asking. He glanced at Harry, who had wondered over to play with his train set, before his gaze came back to her. "It's a bit of an adjustment but it's good I think. I care about him, you know, and I think it's what his parents would have wanted, given everything. And at least here, I know he's safe."

"Yes, that's good." She said, looking over at Harry. Her lips pressed together and Remus thought her eyes seemed a little shinier than normal. "He really does look like his father doesn't he?"

"Yeah." Remus breathed out. "He really does. Except his eyes, those are all Lily."

She looked at him for a few moments longer before she cleared her throat and her eyes came back to Remus.

"Right, well. I suppose we should go then." She said. "I know you'll likely want to speak to Molly yourself before leaving Harry there on his own so I figured we'd go a bit early."

"Alright." Remus said with a nod, grabbing the bag he'd packed for Harry and putting it over his shoulder.

It felt a bit heavier than he remembered it being and his muscles were already aching a bit with the coming moon but he ignored it all as he called for Harry. The boy joined them by the fireplace, looking at them curiously, and Remus figured that he should probably take Harry through first. He doubted that the boy would go if he had to watch McGonagall disappear in swirl of green flames so he picked up Harry and asked for the address first before taking some Floo Powder and throwing it down. 

Harry clung tightly to his shirt, giving a soft squeak of fear, and Remus rubbed his back soothingly before stumbling out into the small living room of Molly Weasley's home. He quickly moved out of the way of the fireplace, knowing that McGonagall would follow him soon, and he took a moment to speak softly to Harry and reassure him that everything was okay. He finally managed to get Harry to open his eyes once more and he began taking in their surroundings just as McGonagall stepped out of the fireplace and Molly Weasley came around the corner and into the room. She had a kind face and the bright red hair that he remembered her brothers also sporting and she greeted them with a smile.

"Welcome to the Burrow." She said. "The other kids are outside playing in the back garden. Would you like to join them, love?"

Harry shook his head rapidly and his grip tightened on Remus once more.

"I think he's still a little shaken from the Floo travel." Remus explained. "He's never done it before."

"Oh, well no matter." She said, waving her hand dismissively. "He can join us in the kitchen. I assume you'd like to speak to me anyway."

Remus followed after her as she turned around and disappeared back around the corner until they reached a small kitchen. She motioned for them to sit at the table before waving her wand at the teapot which came to rest on the table after filling cups for each of them.

"Now, I assure you, Harry will be perfectly fine here." She said gently, her eyes tracing over Harry for a moment before coming to meet Remus'. "I have seven children of my own so one more won't be a problem. I'll look after him like he's one of mine."

"Thank you for that." Remus said even while his mind was still trying to process the fact that she had _seven_ children. He was exhausted enough with only one, he couldn't imagine how she handled seven. "I do have one request or a _rule_ really."

"Of course." Molly said, motioning for him to continue.

"I don't want Harry to be taken into the wizarding world, like Diagon Alley or anything like that." He said seriously. "He's just a child, I don't want people gawking at him like he's some sort of exhibit."

"I understand that." Molly said with a nod. "I even agree with it, I don't even take my own children into Diagon Alley that much. You can be assured that he'll stay here at the Burrow. I'd never take him anywhere without your permission, I promise you that."

"Good. That's good." He nodded, looking down at Harry who seemed to be studying Molly. She seemed to notice at the same time as he did and she gave Harry a gentle smile that seemed to relax him a bit as he looked up at Remus.

"She's nice?" He questioned seriously, obviously having remembered what he'd been told earlier. Remus tilted his head.

"What do you think?" He asked gently. Harry turned his head to look at her again for a long moment.

"Yeah." He said after a while. "She's nice."

Remus smiled. "I'm glad you think so."

"Can I go play now?" He asked, looking at him again.

"If you want to." Remus said.

"I can take you out and introduce you to the others if you like." Molly said and Harry nodded before sliding from Remus' lap and onto the floor.

He took Molly's hand without complaint and allowed her to lead him out of the house and Remus watched him go, something like panic rising in his chest. After a moment he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see McGonagall giving him a calming look.

"He's fine." She said. "He'll be okay here. Molly and Arthur Weasley are some of the best people I know, they'll look after him."

"I know." He said softly even though he felt like grabbing Harry and fleeing back to the safety of their cottage. He knew he couldn't, he knew this was for the best and that Harry would be safe here until he came back, but the urge was still there.

Molly rejoined them a few minutes later and assured them that Harry was fine and was now happily playing with Ron and his brothers in the back garden. When she sat back down Remus sat up straight, knowing he had to bring it up.

"Molly, there's some things you should know about Harry." He said seriously and he noted that she sat up a little straighter.

"Okay." She said. "I'm listening."

"He sometimes gets scared at loud noises or raised voices." He told her. "And sometimes he might panic a bit and you have to remind him to take deep breaths. He'll want a bit of time to himself after this happens so you should be aware of that."

"Alright." She said, pressing her lips together for a moment. "I'll make sure to keep an eye on him just in case."

"It has to do with the home he was in before he came to stay with me." He said, feeling as if he needed to explain. "He was with his mother's sister and her husband and they weren't kind to him. Sometimes he might flinch if you move to quickly around him but it's not about you, he's just a little scared still."

"That's horrible." She said, pressing her hand to her chest. "I don't know how anyone could treat that sweet boy badly."

"Me either." He agreed. 

They spoke for a while longer after that and Remus even got to meet Arthur Weasley when he came home from work before he needed to leave. After spending the afternoon with Molly, he felt much better about leaving Harry with her for the night and Harry seemed to like her son Ron a lot so he knew that he'd be okay. Before he left he went out to the back garden, where the kids were playing a round of tag while their little sister, who'd come down from a nap only a little while ago, sat on the stoop. Harry ran over immediately when he saw him and Remus told him he was leaving.

Harry seemed to become a bit hesitant then but Ron pulled him back into the game and he seemed to forget his reservations. Remus bid goodbye to Molly and Arthur and was about to disapparate to the forest he spent his transformations in when he heard Harry call out. 

"Wait!" Harry said, running at him quickly. He knelt down when Harry got close enough.

"I'll come back." He said soothingly. "I promised, remember?"

"I know." Harry said quietly before launching himself into his arms. Remus was too surprised to react at first but when he realized what was happening, he wrapped his arms around Harry and returned the hug, feeling embarrassingly as if he was going to cry. Harry pulled back and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Bye."

"Bye, Harry." He said, squeezing him tighter for a moment. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Okay." Harry said before stepping back. Remus gave him one last smile before turning on his heal and disapparating, his heart feeling warm and happy in his chest.


	3. Chapter 3

**January 20, 1984**

January's full moon had gone relatively well. He'd ended up with a few new scratches along his arms but they weren't that deep and were easy enough to cover up so he didn't have to worry about Harry seeing them and freaking out. During the November moon, he'd managed to give himself three huge gashes along his chest which had taken a few days to heal but he'd made the mistake of going to pick up Harry the morning after and he'd had a full blown panic attack think that Remus was going to die and he'd be sent back to the Dursley's. It had taken hours to calm him down and he was still a bit shaken for days afterword so now Remus, at Molly's insistence, left Harry with her for two days out of the month. 

He'd take him on the day of the full moon each month and he'd stay that night and the next day as well so that Remus could sleep off the transformation and heal enough not to frighten him then he'd pick him up that night. Molly usually insisted that they stay for dinner on those days which he found he didn't mind. He loved Harry to pieces but it was nice to have adult conversation every once in a while. The time at the Weasley's was good for Harry as well because he got to spend time with other kids rather than having to just play on his own all the time and as a result he'd opened up quite a lot in the last couple of months.

Minerva also made a point to visit the cottage at least once a month to check up on them, usually on a weekend as it allowed her to stay the whole day rather than just a few hours, and Harry was quite fond of her. Remus knew that the fondness was mutual, he'd seen her sneaking Harry extra chocolates when she thought he wasn't looking. On the days she visited, they spent a lot of time talking about Hogwarts and she told him stories about all the trouble making kids but assured him that none of them had quite reached the level of the Marauders yet which made him laugh. It was getting much easier for him to think about James, Lily, and Peter, and even Sirius so reminiscing about his time in Hogwarts wasn't as painful as it used to be. He'd even dug out a few old photo albums to show Harry pictures of his parents. He was healing, slowly but surely, and he knew that a lot of it had to do with Harry.

It was late afternoon by the time he got to the Burrow and Harry ran out to front door to greet him excitedly, already babbling about what he'd done in their time apart, and he ignored his protesting muscles as he swung Harry up into his arms to carry him back inside. He listened enthusiastically to him as Molly called a friendly greeting from where she was cooking. Her children were spread out around the sitting room, all doing various different activities, as he glanced over them. Bill, the oldest of the group who he'd met at Christmas was back at Hogwarts but the rest of the siblings were around. Charlie was sitting near the fire reading a book that seemed to be about dragons and Fred and George were whispering and giggling to each other in the corner with matching looks on their faces that he knew could mean nothing good for anyone involved. He wasn't sure how two almost six year old's could cause so much trouble but they managed it. Percy was staring out the window and seemed to be lost in thought or daydreaming. Ron was sitting on the floor playing some complicated, seemingly made up, game with Ginny and Harry quickly wiggled out of his arms to rejoin them.

"How are you, Remus?" Molly asked after a moment and he knew what she was asking.

"I'm alright, Molly." He said, glancing at Harry quickly but he wasn't paying attention to them at all. "Nothing major, just a few scratches. Nothing to worry about."

"If you're sure." She said, raising a brow at him.

"Where's Arthur?" He asked in an attempt to change the subject, he hated talking about his injuries. She gave him a look that told him she knew what he was doing but she didn't push anymore. 

"He's out in the shed, tinkering with those muggle gadgets of his again." She said, rolling her eyes, but he could see the fondness in her expression.

"They are quiet interesting, I suppose." He said, shrugging his shoulders.

He'd never understood Arthur's obsession with all things muggle but he'd had a muggle mother so perhaps he just didn't find it all as exotic as Arthur did. Once Arthur had realized his muggle heritage he'd taken to asking him questions about all of the muggle things he came across in his job and Remus would patiently explain what each thing was and what it's function was and Arthur's eyes would light up each time. Remus was happy to be able to bring so much joy to someone with something so simple.

He and Molly didn't speak further about it, rather he just began helping her with the rest of the meal. She always complained about him helping, insisting that he was a guest, but she let him help regardless. He'd actually learned a fair few household spells from her in the last couple of months which made things at the cottage a bit easier as well which he was grateful for. Harry still watched when he performed magic with that look of wonder on his face but he'd become used to seeing it by now. He'd also become much more secure with Remus and no longer acted as if he thought it was all going to be yanked away. He'd even begun to test his limits a bit.

Molly insisted that it was a good thing, that it happened with all children when they felt safe enough in their living situation, but it was still a pain in his ass sometimes. Particularly when Harry would get stubborn about doing something like cleaning his room or taking a bath before bed and refuse to budge no matter how much Remus reprimanded him for it. Sometimes he'd just scream until he got his way but most of the time Remus was able to get him to do what he was supposed to with a stern word. On the nights that he lost the battle, he be particularly frustrated but Harry always apologized in the morning and listened when Remus explained why certain things had to be done. Overall, he was a good kid most of the time which Remus felt lucky about. It could have gone a lot worse he supposed.

Everything in the house was calm and normal as they finished dinner and it was only when Molly stepped away to call Arthur inside that things became a little strange because it was then that Remus noticed the cage that rested on the edge of the counter near the wall. The cage was small and inside of it was a fat brown rat, the image of which froze him in his tracks because he _knew that rat_. He'd seen that rat many times over the years, on nights of the full moon and even during other times.

But that was _impossible_. He told himself that he had to be mistaken, that the rat currently trying to shove itself into the furthest corner of the cage as if hoping it wouldn't be seen even though he was plainly staring right at it couldn't be what he thought it was, couldn't be _who_ he thought it was, because Peter Pettigrew was dead. Sirius had killed him when he'd betrayed everyone he'd ever pretended to care about.

All at once, the doubt he'd felt in those first days after Lily and James had died, the doubt he'd let others convince him was unfounded, came rushing back and his breath left him in a whoosh. His ears were ringing and he was sure that the room around him was spinning and he stumbled back, almost falling down into a chair, still staring at the rat in disbelief. Molly was suddenly in front of him, blocking his view of the rat, and his eyes snapped to her face.

"Remus, are you alright?" She asked, her concern clear in her tone. She placed her hands on his cheeks. "Come on, breath with me."

He focused on her breathing and forced his own to match it until he felt a bit more steady in the room. 

"Molly, where did you get that rat?" He asked, keeping his voice even and calm in an effort not to scare her no matter how much he wanted to grab it out of the cage and bash it into the wall.

"Oh." She said, glancing over her shoulder at the cage. "The boys found him in the garden and begged to keep him."

"When?" He asked, giving her a serious look. "When, _exactly_ , did they find him?"

"Remus...." She said, concern clear in her tone.

"It's important." He said, hoping she read the seriousness in his voice.

"Um, I don't remember exactly." She said. "It was a couple of years ago, sometime in November of '81."

"November of '81, you're certain?" He asked, studying her face.

"Yes." She said. "Remus, what's this about?"

He shook his head in disbelief, it was too much of a coincidence. Sirius was supposed to have killed Peter and twelve muggles on November first of that year and he'd been arrested and charged without a trial, they'd found the bodies of the twelve muggles but not Peter, they'd only found his finger which is how they'd identified him. He'd been convinced that Sirius was innocent, had known he wouldn't turn on James and Lily, but he'd let other people convince him differently. If Peter was here though, with the Weasley's, and had been since that November then perhaps he'd been right all along.

"Molly, you need to call the aurors." He said, keeping his voice low.

"What?" She asked.

"Trust me." He said seriously, grabbing her hand in his. "Please."

She looked at him for a long moment but she must have seen something on his face because she nodded firmly and turned to leave the room. He heard the Floo go and Molly's voice speaking softly. Arthur was standing hesitantly at the door and it was then that Remus noticed most of the children were looking at him, obviously sensing that something serious was happening, and his eyes went back to the rat that now seemed to be trying to escape. He was thankful that the cage was secure as it seemed that it couldn't get out no matter how hard it tried and he knew that Peter couldn't transform back in such a small space. He was trapped and there was no escape this time.

He had the urge to just kill him right then and there but he glanced over at Harry and forced himself to calm down. If he killed Peter then Harry would have no one and he couldn't allow that no matter how angry he was. There was also the matter of Sirius to consider, if Peter was here, they could clear his name but that wouldn't happen if Remus killed him before he could confess. Molly came back into the room and Arthur finally moved from the doorway to come to her side. 

"Charlie, take the children upstairs please." Molly said softly and Charlie looked at her for a moment before he began ushering the others up the stairs. Harry glanced at him.

"It's alright, Harry." He said, nodding at him. "Go with Charlie."

Harry looked as if he wanted to refuse but Charlie placed a hand on his shoulder and guided him away gently. Once the steps of the children on the stairs stopped and they heard the sound of a bedroom door closing, Molly looked at him seriously.

"They'll be here shortly." She said. "I told them that I was unsure what this was about but that you seemed pretty serious so they said they'd send an auror group to us."

"A group?" Arthur asked. "They usually only send out one or two."

"They know who Remus is." Molly said. "Or rather, who he's raising."

She glanced up at the roof as if either of them needed the reminder of just exactly who was in the house and the thought made his blood boil even more. That traitorous rat had been in the same house as Harry for months and he hadn't realized until now. It pissed him off beyond measure that he'd been anywhere near Harry at all. He didn't have much time to dwell on it though as in the next moment, there was a knock on the door and Arthur opened to reveal a small group of aurors. 

Remus recognized Kingsley Shaklebolt immediately, he'd been a couple years ahead of them at Hogwarts and also happened to be a Prefect who'd caught them planning pranks plenty of times. Kingsley nodded at him as he stepped inside with the others following him but he maintained his serious expression.

"Mrs. Weasley sent a distress call to the aurors office stating that Mr. Remus Lupin had requested our presence for something serious." He said, his deep voice seeming to echo through the room. "Is that correct?"

"Yes." Remus nodded, standing up from the chair he was still sitting in.

"And what is the problem?" Kingsley asked, glancing around the room as if he expected a threat to jump out from behind one of the walls.

"The rat." Remus said, pointing at the cage.

"You called us here for a rat?" Kingsley asked, this time seeming almost incredulous and Remus had to fight not to roll his eyes.

"Obviously not." He snapped. "He's not just a rat, he's an animagus. It's Peter Pettigrew."

Molly gasped quietly and her eyes darted to the cage where a desperate squeaking was now coming from. Remus refused to even look, fearing that he'd do something really stupid if he saw him trying to escape again.

"Peter Pettigrew is dead." Kingsley said.

"Yes, I thought so as well until I saw the rat." He said.

"Peter Pettigrew is not registered as an animagus." A woman just behind Kingsley said, who Remus recognized as Emmeline Vance. "If he was, we would know about it."

"He transformed illegally in our fifth year at Hogwarts." Remus told them. "We never told anyone but I've seen his animagus form enough to know what he looks like and I'm telling you that it's him."

"But if he's not dead then....." Emmeline trailed off.

"You made a mistake when you arrested Sirius for his murder?" He asked. "Yeah, I'd gathered that."

Kingsley seemed to study him for a moment. "Can I venture to guess that Pettigrew wasn't the only one who became an animagus at Hogwarts?"

Remus gave him a look but didn't say anything. Being in the Order, Kingsley was one of the people who knew about his status as a werewolf and would therefore know he wasn't an animagus and would likely be able to guess just who else had become one if Pettigrew had. Becoming an animagus without registering was illegal and he was trying to get Sirius out of trouble not into more of it and they didn't need to know about James. It was over and done with, it didn't matter anymore. Kingsley huffed out a sigh before he motioned for one of the other aurors to bring the cage over.

"You better be right about this, Lupin." He said and that was all the warning there was before he shot a stunning spell at the rat and it dropped to the bottom of the cage.

The auror who'd retrieved the cage, a tall man with dark hair, sat it on the floor and the aurors surrounded it on all sides. Kingsley transfigured the cage into a much larger one before putting some sort of ward over it that Remus assumed would prevent whoever was inside it from getting out. Finally he cast _enneverate_ and the rat tried to run immediately but Kingsley was quick with his last spell which forcefully returned an animagus to their human form and there, locked inside the enlarged case, was a man. 

Emmeline was staring with her mouth hanging open and even Kingsley looked a bit shocked, both having obviously recognized Peter just as Remus had, and Molly was looking at the man with something like anger on her face.

"That _man_ has been with my children this whole time?" She asked, her anger plain. "How dare you?!"

Her outburst seemed to have snapped the others out of it and Kingsley drew a small vial out of his pocket and stepped through the wards to force Pettigrew to drink it.

"Veritaserum." Emmeline told him quietly, obviously having seen him staring.

"Is that even legal?" He asked and she shrugged.

"In certain circumstances." She said. Kingsley stepped back through the wards and retook his place next to them.

"What is your name?" Kingsley asked. He, Remus and Emmeline all knew exactly who was standing in front of him but the other aurors likely didn't so Remus understood the questioning.

"Peter Pettigrew." The answer came immediately. He didn't even seem to be trying to fight the effects of the serum. 

"How could you?" Remus asked, unable to help himself. This man had ruined everything, had betrayed everything they'd stood for, and he'd _mourned_ him. He'd gone to his fucking funeral and consoled his mother when she began weeping. He thought he deserved some sort of explanation.

"You don't know what he was like, Remus." Peter said, his eyes locking on him. "I had to tell him, he would have killed me."

"Then you should have died!" He shouted. "James and Lily would have died for you, _I_ would have died for you, even _Sirius_ would have died for you. The fucking least you could do was return the sentiment. Instead you sold out your friends and framed Sirius, like a fucking coward! Tell me, how'd you do it?"

"Remus." Kingsley said with a hint of warning, placing a hand on his arm.

"I knew he'd come for me." Peter answered, obviously in response to Remus' question. "Sirius. When he figured out what I'd done, I knew he'd come. I was going to run, to disappear, but then he found me and I saw an opportunity. I accused him where I knew people would hear and then I blew up the street. I used the panic and the confusion to cut my finger off and transform and he was left there in the aftermath. Everyone thought he'd done it, he was a Black after all, why wouldn't he be just like the rest of his family in the end? It was all so easy. It's much easier to disappear when no one's looking for you."

By the end of his explanation, his voice had taken on a cruel edge that made Remus want to shiver. He didn't understand how he hadn't seen it, that cruelness. Peter had hidden it well, so well that no one even suspected him. Remus supposed that only made it all too easy to betray them all.

"You're the one who sold James and Lily Potter to You-Know-Who?" Emmeline asked, her shock plain in her voice and her expression. "I thought Sirius was their Secret Keeper."

"Everyone did." Peter said. "That's why my plan was so brilliant. Even if I'd managed to escape before he found me, everyone would believe he'd done it. No one would have listened when he denied it. He switched with me at the last minute and didn't tell anyone, he thought it would make them safer. Everyone would suspect him, even the Dark Lord, and he could led him away while I kept them safe. He never even suspected that the danger was so close or," His eyes darted to Remus. "I suppose he did but he was looking in the wrong direction. Another one of my brilliant moves."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Remus asked.

"A well placed word here and there will do wonders." Peter said, giving him a cruel smirk. " ' _Oh, Remus has been on a lot of secretive missions lately._ _Oh Sirius, when's the last time you and Remus talked honestly, he's your boyfriend, shouldn't he be able to talk to you? Maybe those werewolf packs recruited him instead of the other way around, he's been talking a lot about how unhappy he is with the treatment of werewolves in the wizarding community.'_ It was so easy to plant that seed of doubt. Maybe he never really loved you after all."

"Shut the hell up!" He snapped.

He was aware of the eyes on him and he knew it was in response to what Peter had just revealed but he didn't even care at the moment, he was just trying to keep himself from leaping through the wards and strangling him.

"Alright, we're done here." Kingsley said, pushing Remus back lightly as if he could sense just how much Remus wanted to rip Peter's throat out. "Peter will be transported directly to the Ministry, where he will be questioned further, before being taken to Azkaban. I need you to come to the Ministry tomorrow where we will have a further discussion, hopefully in a calmer setting, about Sirius Black. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Remus said through gritted teeth.

"Okay." He said, nodding firmly before looking at the others in the group. "What was said here about Remus and his condition falls under the confidentiality clause of criminal confessions as it has nothing to do with the actual case. It will not go further than the people in this room and if I find out that it has, I will make sure that you never work for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement again in any branch, not just the aurors. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir." They all parroted almost immediately.

After that, Kingsley just opted to levitate the entire cage with Peter still inside and the wards in tact rather than allowing him out seeing as he'd already proven that he was quite adept at escaping. When the door closed behind them, they were left with a thick silence but it only lasted for a few moments before Molly pulled him into a rather unexpected hug. He made a soft sound of surprise as her arms tightened around him and he awkwardly patted her back until she let go.

He wasn't used to affection from others apart from Harry. He used to receive affection from Lily and James and especially Sirius but he hadn't gotten much of it in the last few years until Harry had come into his life so it was a bit of a surprise to receive it in such an unexpected way. She reached up and brushed an hand along his cheek in a distinctly motherly way.

"Are you alright, my dear?" She asked gently. "That was a bit intense."

"I'm....not sure." He said slowly, the shock seeming to set in now that the object of his anger was no longer directly in front of him or even accessible. 

"That's alright." She said. "I can't even imagine what you're going through. It's okay to not know how to feel and it's okay to not be okay. You can have whatever feelings you want."

"I can't." He disagreed. "I can't fall apart right now. Harry needs me."

"We've got Harry, you don't need to worry." She said gently. "If you need to fall apart, then fall apart. We'll be here."

He looked at her and it all seemed to hit him at once. He fell into a chair, similar to how he'd done when he first realized that Peter was here, and his shoulders shook with sobs. Molly wrapped her arms around him and he pressed his face into her stomach, feeling like a child but not being able to do anything about it, and she brushed her hands over his hair in a soothing gesture as she made soft shushing sound.

Everything from the last few years hit him again. Loosing all of his closest friends and having his boyfriend be the one locked away for it all, not believing it and then the intense feeling of betrayal that came after allowing others to convince him he was wrong, the couple of years of anger and drinking and loneliness. Finally, the anger came, the anger over finding Harry and realizing he was being abused, the anger with himself for still loving Sirius even after all these years mixed with the relief of now knowing he was right all along and Sirius was innocent, and lastly the anger at Peter for ruining it all and then hiding in plain sight. He let himself feel it all, let himself cry it all out, and after it was over he felt almost empty but strangely better at the same time.

When he finally leaned back, Molly handed him a handkerchief and he wiped his face. He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there and he knew that he probably looked like hell but he felt as if he could process things better now. Molly gave him a gentle smile and he noticed that Arthur was standing on the other side of them room when he gave him a look similar to the one his wife was sporting. They'd allowed him to just have his feelings without telling him that he shouldn't or without interrupting and he realized just how grateful he was to have them in his life.

"Better?" Molly asked.

"Yeah." He answered softly.

"We can take Harry again tomorrow if you need us to." Arthur said, his voice soft as well.

"No." Remus said, shaking his head. "I can't leave him again, he's still a little wary about me leaving him for too long. He's afraid I won't come back. I'll just take him with me."

"To the Ministry?" Molly asked. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"It'll be fine." Remus assured them. "Most people don't know what he looks like or what I look like. I'll put a hat on him to hide his scar and no one will give us a second glance."

"If you're sure." She said.

"I am." He said with a nod.

"Alright then." She said before waving her wand at him. He felt a weird sensation across his face, almost as if someone had pressed a cool cloth to his face, and he suspected that it was to make it look less like he'd just been bawling like a baby. "I suppose we should have dinner then. I'll call the kids down."

"What are you going to tell them about their pet rat?" Remus asked and she sighed.

"I'll think of something." She said before stepping to the bottom of the stairs.

The moment she called up the stairs there was the sound of many pairs of feet rushing down and that was the end of any serious conversations for the night. Remus found that he didn't really mind that. He'd been vulnerable enough for one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited this chapter slightly because I realized that Bill would be at Hogwarts rather than the Burrow at this point in time but nothing else is changed. It's really just that slight detail.


	4. Chapter 4

**January 21, 1984**

They used the visitor entrance to get into the Ministry and Remus pulled Harry's hat a bit lower on his head before stepping out of the phone booth and into the atrium where a man was waiting in a small booth to weigh his wand and sign him in before directing him toward the auror department. Despite the fact that no one seemed to be paying them too much attention, which is what he'd hoped in the first place, he was quick to follow the directions and get them out of the crowded space and into a small elevator that brought them up to the floor they needed to be. 

When the voice in the elevator informed them that they had reached the auror department he stepped out and adjusted Harry on his hip before making his way further into the building. Harry was looking around, watching people in auror robes rushing back and forth with wide eyes, but he didn't look scared so Remus wasn't too worried. Spending so much time at the Weasley's had made him a bit more tolerant of large crowds as long as Remus remained close to him which was good.

"May I help you with something?" A girl appeared in front of him, seemingly from nowhere, and he noticed that she looked quite young. He assumed that she must be a trainee, both because she wasn't wearing full auror robes and because she looked like she had just come straight from Hogwarts, and he gave her what he hoped was a polite smile.

"I have a meeting with Kingsley Shaklebolt. He told me to meet him here." He said and she nodded.

"Alright. I'll take you back to his desk." She said and then, without waiting for a response from him, she turned and began to walk away.

He hurried to catch up to her and followed through the department. Kingsley's desk was near the very back and tucked into a corner next to the wall. The man himself was sitting behind the desk and seemed to be filling out a large stack of paperwork but he looked up when he heard them approaching and quickly put it aside to greet them. He sent the girl away again before motioning for Remus to sit in a seat on the other side of the desk.

Remus sat Harry in the second seat and pulled out a blank piece of paper and some crayons to keep him distracted while they spoke. Kingsley raised a brow at him as he studied Harry for a moment.

"You seem to have gotten used to this parenting thing already." He commented and Remus huffed.

"Believe me, it's not as simple as it looks." He said, shaking his head. "I'm not entirely sure I even know what I'm doing half the time."

"Well, he seems happy enough so you must be doing something right." Kingsley said.

"I suppose." Remus said, glancing at Harry once more before looking at Kingsley seriously. "But, that's not really what I came here to talk about."

"Right." Kingsley said with a sigh. "Well, I think you'll be glad to know that Peter confessed to it all under _Veritaserum_. Betraying Lily and James, framing Sirius, even some things that happened before that. We even had him provide memories of the events to be examined in a pensieve. He'd been a spy for You-Know-Who longer than we'd thought and he'd been giving them information for months before any of the rest of it happened. I know, back then, we were all wondering how the Death Eaters seemed to know exactly where we'd be and when and now we know. People died because of the information he provided them, more people than just his own friends."

"I don't know how none of us saw it." Remus admitted. "We were all on edge, blaming each other, but I don't remember Peter's name ever coming up in those conversations. He was just so unassuming."

"I imagine that's how he got away with it for so long." Kingsley agreed. "No one suspected him. He used that to his advantage."

"Yeah." Remus said, shaking his head before he took a deep breath. "So what happens now?"

"Peter is still in Ministry lock up right now but he'll be transferred to Azkaban tonight. He'll be housed in a cell that's warded against animagi transformations but, given his uncanny ability to escape, we've added wards to the cell that would prevent his escape even if he did manage to transform which would be highly unlikely." Kingsley explained. "He won't be escaping punishment this time, I've made sure of that."

"And what about Sirius?" Remus asked. Kingsley sighed.

"In light of the evidence provided by Pettigrew's confession, all charges against Sirius have been dropped. He'll be released but it will take a few days for the paperwork to go through." Kingsley said. "Now, because of his release, we need an address for where he will be living for our records."

"He'll be living with me." Remus said determinedly. 

"Are you sure that's such a good idea, with Harry?" Kingsley asked and Harry glanced up at the sound of his name.

"He's innocent, Kingsley." He said firmly. "There's no reason to keep him away from Harry. He'd never hurt him."

"You don't know what that place is like, Remus. Even being there for a couple of hours makes you feel like you'll never be able to escape and he's been there for two years." Kingsley said. "You have no idea what his mental state is like."

"All the more reason for him to live with me." Remus said, giving him a look. "He has nowhere else to go and at least if he's with me then I can help him. At least then, he won't be alone. I _care_ about him, Kingsley."

"Are you absolutely certain about this?" Kingsley asked and Remus nodded.

"I am." He said. 

"Very well." Kingsley sighed. "Tell me where you live so I can put it on the paper work."

"I can't." Remus said and Kingsley looked up at him, raising his brow once more, and he hurried to explain. "I'm not trying to be difficult or anything, it's just a bit complicated. Our home is under the Fidelius Charm for Harry's protection, I'm sure you understand. The only person besides myself and Harry who know the exact location is Minerva McGonagall. She's my Secret Keeper."

"Well that complicates the paperwork a bit but I suppose I can deal with it." Kingsley said with another sigh as he noted something down on the paper in front of him. "Now, when Sirius is released, he'll be brought here to the Ministry for formal apologies from the Minister himself so how will he be getting from here to your home? Will you be coming to pick him up or will there be other arrangements made?"

Remus considered his question seriously for a few moments, his gaze going to Harry, and he chewed his lip as he considered his options. 

"Um, I don't know how Sirius will be feeling when he gets out and I don't want to overwhelm him. I think bringing Harry with me to get him might be a bit much for him at first so I could probably have Minerva come to get him and bring him to the cottage since she knows where it is." He said after a minute. "I think he'd be a bit more comfortable with her, she was always his favorite teacher, and she could explain a bit of the situation before he's faced with the two of us."

"Alright." Kingsley said. "Just have her come here in three days time to get him and I'll handle everything else."

"Okay." Remus nodded. "That's good."

"Oh, and one last thing." Kingsley said before pulling out a stack of papers and sliding them over to Remus. "When you revealed that Pettigrew was an animagus and then didn't give an answer when I said I assumed he wasn't the only one, it wasn't that hard to deduce just who else had done it while we were at Hogwarts. These are the registration papers for animagi, have Black fill them out when he's released and return them. There's no reason for him to end up back in Azkaban."

"He won't get in trouble for registering now?" Remus asked suspiciously. "I know that sort of thing is highly regulated by the Ministry and anyone attempting it usually has to be overseen by someone more experienced."

"He's already an animagus so it's not like he needs a supervisor for the transformation since it's already complete." Kingsley said. "And he's just spent two years wrongfully imprisoned. They're willing to let it slide a bit in his case."

"Alright. I'll make sure it's done." Remus assured him before noticing that Kingsley had a strange look on his face. "Something else?"

"The things that Pettigrew revealed, you don't have to worry about them." He said quietly, his eyes darting around to make sure that no one was listening in. "About your....condition or about your relationship with Sirius. I've made sure that no one who was present will say anything about it to anyone else."

"Oh." Remus said quietly. "Thank you."

"Yeah." Kingsley said. "That's alright. You and I were in the Order together and though we never really had a mission together, I respected you. Even now, I respect you, none of that matters to me. You're a good man, I know that."

"Um, thanks, Kingsley." He said, giving the other man a nod. "You're a good man too, you know."

* * *

When they finally got back to Yorkshire, Remus sighed heavily when he found Dumbledore standing just outside the wards around the cottage. He knew that the man couldn't actually see the cottage himself due to the Fidelius Charm but as he'd helped with the wards before it was put up, he still knew the general location.

"Something I can help you with, Albus?" He asked. Harry wiggled down from his arms and moved to play in the snow that had fallen early that morning by gathering handfuls and throwing it in the air to watch it fall again. 

"I heard about Peter Pettigrew's arrest last night." Dumbledore said, his voice inquiring.

"Yeah?" Remus asked, giving away nothing as he tilted his head to look at the man.

"I assume that means that young Mr. Black will be released." He said, not quite a question but Remus could hear the lilt at the end of the sentence that made it seem like one.

"You'd assume correct." He said.

"And will he be staying here with you and young Harry?" He asked and Remus turned to look at him fully.

"Yes, he will." He said, almost defiantly as he heard the small note of disapproval in Dumbledore's tone.

"Are you sure that's wise?" He asked and Remus scoffed.

"I don't see how it's any of your business who lives in my house, Albus." He said. "I am no longer your student and I am certainly not your concern any longer nor is Harry, no matter how much you may think you have a say over his life. Furthermore, it was you who tried to convince me that Sirius was guilty even when I told you I didn't believe it and it was you who endorsed sending him to Azkaban without a trial so I don't see what say you think you have over _his_ life either."

"The evidence against him was monumental." Dumbledore countered. "I saw no reason to drag out a trial when the verdict seemed so clear."

"Well you _should_ have thought about it, you should have taken _my_ thoughts into account back then and given him a trial since I was the one who arguably knew him the best. Maybe if you hadn't been so damn hasty and actually given him a fair trial, we'd have known about Peter long before now and maybe the man I love wouldn't have spent two years locked away for something he didn't do. If I hadn't have found Peter, he would have spent the rest of his life in there and everyone would believe all of that bullshit that was printed about him. I told you back then that something was wrong, that Sirius would never have turned on James, but you were so arrogant, so sure of yourself and your rightness, that you allowed an innocent man to be thrown into a place like that." Remus paused to take a breath. He wasn't even aware that he'd had this anger that was boiling under his skin until Dumbledore had given him a target for it and now he couldn't stop himself speaking. "You used us for whatever messed up chess match you had going on with Voldemort. You recruited literal _children_ to be your pawns and then when we were no longer useful, you cast us aside. You turned your back on him at the first possible moment and didn't even entertain the fact that you might have gotten something wrong and you left him to rot. You didn't give a damn about us, you only cared about what we could do for you. I didn't realize it at the time but I do now, you can be assured of that."

"I understand that you're angry, Remus." Dumbledore said, still with that calm fucking voice that he hated. "But things were more complicated than you know."

" _Angry!?_ " He asked, his voice raising a bit. "I am _beyond_ angry, Albus, I am _furious_. I'm fucking furious because I actually thought you gave a damn. I'm fucking furious because I let you convince me that I was wrong, because I let you turn me against the only person I had left in the world, and you want to know why I did? It was because I fucking _trusted_ you but I've just realized that maybe I shouldn't have. I respected you, that's why I listened, but perhaps that was a mistake too."

"Remus -" Dumbledore started but he shook his head.

"No. I can't listen to you, not right now." He said before turning away. "Harry, come on. We're going inside."

Harry glanced over at them and he had a look on his face that made Remus think for a moment that he might refuse but finally, he dropped the snow in his hands back to the ground and ran over to grab his hand and follow him through the wards and into the cottage. Remus helped him remove his gloves and coat before waving his wand at the fireplace, producing a roaring fire that instantly began to warm the space, and moved into the kitchen. 

Harry quickly wondered into the sitting room to play with his toys and Remus made some hot chocolate for both of them, taking the time to calm himself down from the burst of anger he'd felt so that he'd be able to play with Harry without letting on that anything was wrong. They played with the train set and sipped their drinks and Remus let himself just enjoy the uncomplicated feeling of happiness and love that always surrounded him when he was just spending time with Harry.

It wasn't until Harry went to bed that night that everything sort of hit him at once. The anger came once more but it was quickly replaced with relief and then uncertainty and a hint of fear. Sirius was innocent and would be coming to live with them in just a few days and he could admit to himself that the prospect was a little frightening. It wasn't Sirius himself that he was afraid of, it was their complicated history.

They'd been dating before Sirius was arrested but they hadn't felt like a couple for months before then. Remus could remember vividly the last time everything had felt okay between them because it had been only two months after Harry was born and they'd been babysitting him while Lily and James had a night out to themselves, away from the war and everything else. That night, after they'd put Harry down to sleep, they'd sat on the couch together and spoke softly of the future and what they wanted, desperately trying to ignore the war and the impending sense of doom while they did so.

He remembered Sirius saying that he wanted to get married one day if it ever became legal and he remembered thinking it was a joke and laughing but then Sirius had given him a look, his eyes shining and his face entirely serious, and he'd realized that he actually _meant_ it. Needless to say, the rest of their night was spent making out on the couch in between the moments they were checking on Harry and he remembered the ache in his heart and the _want_ he'd felt then for that wonderful picture of their future. Of course, it had all been fucked the next day when Dumbledore had come to him with a mission.

It had been the first of many recruitment missions that had taken him far away from his friends and allowed for the seeds of doubt to be planted in each of their minds about him. He and Sirius had still kissed and even slept together after that but things had changed and they could both tell even when neither of them acknowledged it and Sirius had never brought up the idea of marriage again. Their last conversation had been a fight, with accusations thrown from both ends and slamming doors, and that had been the last time they'd ever gotten to speak to, or even see, each other. He wondered if, had they known it would be the last time, things might have gone differently.

The problem now though, was that he wasn't sure how to approach the situation. He would be seeing Sirius in a matter of days and they'd be living together once more but things were so vastly different now from what they had been back then that he felt almost adrift. For one, there was Harry to worry about and he didn't want to do anything that might make him uncomfortable, especially given his history with the Dursley's, and even without worrying about that there was so much more to deal with.

He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel or what he and Sirius even were now. They hadn't seen each other for years and they'd been fighting a lot near the end but they'd never actually broken up, technically speaking. He still loved Sirius, had always loved him, but he didn't know what the other man would be feeling or what he'd be expecting after his time in Azkaban. He didn't know what Sirius would want and he couldn't even hazard a guess because so much had happened in the last couple of years that he no longer felt able to predict how the other man would react the certain things. 

He used to be able to read Sirius like a book and know everything he was thinking or what he'd say before he even said it but things were vastly different now. He wanted to be there for Sirius and he desperately wanted _them_ back but he knew that it might not work out that way. He knew that Sirius might not want that, that he might decide that their previous relationship wasn't what he wanted anymore, and as much as he hated to think about that he knew he needed to be prepared for that reaction just in case.

He vowed to himself then that he'd follow Sirius' lead in this. If he just wanted to be friends, then Remus would do that no matter how much he might want otherwise and if he wanted their relationship back like Remus did then he'd be happy with that as well. He knew that it might take a while for things to settle down and that it might take them a bit to get used to each other again and the inevitable changes that each of them displayed but he was determined to make it happen. He'd be there for Sirius, in any way that the other man needed him, and he'd just have to hope that it was enough.

* * *

 **January 24, 1984 :** _Azkaban Prison_

Sirius heard footsteps coming closer and he rapidly transformed back into his human form. It was easier to be in his animagus form with the Dementors floating around because his thoughts weren't as complex as a canine which made it easier to deal with the oppressive despair that they brought with them and they usually ignored him if he wasn't human when they came through. It was a different matter entirely when the human guards were about.

He hated having to spend time as a human because his thoughts, memories really, came at him in force as if they were just waiting at the edge of the cell for when he had a mind that could understand the complexities of each one. His worst memories would replay over and over in his mind, reminding him of just how stupid and reckless he'd been and just what he'd lost as a result of it, but it was better than being caught in his other form. 

He knew that if the guards knew about his ability, they'd move him to a different cell, one where he couldn't transform to escape the thoughts and memories so it was better to remain human when they were around even if it hurt. As the footsteps echoed off the cold stone walls and the other prisoners around him called out or screamed, he huddled into the corner of his cell and wrapped his arms around his knees. He knew that it was best to go unnoticed by the human guards as well as the Dementors. You didn't want to give them a reason to single you out.

Some of the guards seemed almost as cruel as the prisoners even. They liked to stand outside the bars to the cells and throw curses at the people within, knowing they had no way to block them, and then they'd laugh when their chosen victim cried out in pain. He did his best to stay hidden as well as he could in his small little cell and most of the time, the guards chose someone else to harass. The steps came ever closer and he tensed further with each echo, hoping against hope that they'd continue past his cell, but he really should have known by now that he was never that lucky.

"Black! On your feet." A male guard called as he stopped directly in front of the bars and Sirius was only mildly comforted when he recognized the man.

He didn't know his name, he didn't know any of the guards names, but this one had never been particularly cruel like the others. He would usually just complete his rounds in silence, barely even glancing into the cells as he went, but he'd never intentionally harmed any of the prisoners. At least not where Sirius could see or hear him do it, which was better than nothing he supposed. Still, singling him out now couldn't mean anything good.

When Sirius finally stood up, watching the man warily as he did, he was motioned forward towards the bars. He was altogether shocked when the man waved his wand and unlocked the cell door while dropping the wards around it before swinging it open. They were never allowed out of their cells, not even to bathe. In fact, they'd come through once a week and just blast them with cold water for a few minutes before moving on. The fact that the cell door was open did not make him feel particularly good.

"Follow me." The man said before spinning on his heal and walking away.

Sirius followed after him slowly, keeping a bit of distance between them just in case, and he made a point not to look at any of the people in the cells around him. He was unsure what was going on and he couldn't really focus on anything to even attempt to work it out so he was left to just keep following the man in silence. He was led through so many hallways and around so many corners that he was almost certain that he couldn't find his way back to his cell if someone had asked him to.

It was only when he'd been following after the man for what seemed like a long time that a thought occurred to him. Were they taking him to receive the Dementor's Kiss? Would he be returned to his cell as nothing but a shell with no soul? Was he about to die? He felt like maybe he should be scared but he felt nothing except that overwhelming sadness that permeated the whole prison.

Finally, they came to a large wooden door which the man pushed open and ushered him through. The dark stone walls were still around him but the space in front of him seemed to be some sort of office and he stopped just inside the doorway as his mind tried to make sense of what he was seeing. Had he finally lost his mind in that dark cell at the top of the tower? 

"What's happening?" He finally asked, his voice rough from disuse and barely above a whisper.

"You're free." The man said and he looked at him.

"What?" He asked, shaking his head.

The man didn't say anything in response to his question, instead he lead him a bit further into the strange office until they came to another door. He knocked on it and after a couple moments of complete silence, the door opened to reveal someone that Sirius never thought he'd see again.

"Kingsley?" He asked, still not understanding what was happening.

"Black." He nodded at him. "Ready to get out of here?"

"I don't understand." Sirius said, clearing his throat in an attempt to make his voice work properly.

"We found Pettigrew." Kingsley said. "Or, at least, Lupin did."

"Lupin?" Sirius asked and memories flashed before his eyes in quick succession. Anger, arguments, accusations, and he felt as if he was going to collapse to the floor with the weight of his guilt attached to that name. He knew that there were good memories attached to him as well but he couldn't access them, all he could see was every bad thing that had ever been said between them. "Remus."

The name fell from his lips in a pained sigh and his nails dug into the skin of his palms.

"Yes." Kingsley said, reaching out slowly to touch his arm. "Now come on, it's time to go. I've got your things."

He lifted a bag in his other hand that Sirius hadn't noticed he'd been holding until that moment. He walked beside him in almost a daze until the reached the entrance of the prison and Kingsley ushered him into the boat that would take them away from Azkaban and back to the mainland. He stared back at the prison in astonishment as they rowed away from it, his entire being filled with disbelief, and he decided that maybe he didn't care if he was going crazy. If none of this was real, if it was all just made up in his deranged mind, then at least it was better than sitting in that dark cell every day and wallowing in despair.

Kingsley didn't say anything as he rowed the boat further and further away from Azkaban, seeming to be content with letting him revel in the fact that he was out of his cell, and Sirius found himself reaching out to let his hand brush through the water. It sprayed up at them with each stroke of the oars and it was cold but he was used to the cold so he didn't mind all that much. It was when they got to land that Sirius began to think that maybe this _was_ actually happening, only because he began to feel something other than despair and sadness.

He felt almost..... _happy_. It was strange to feel a positive emotion after so long and it startled him slightly. He'd forgotten what it felt like to feel other things which seemed strange. It was also strange to be able to think at least a little clearly without having his mind twist it back to his regrets and guilt. He'd only been away from the Dementors for maybe an hour and he was already feeling more at ease.

"Here, eat this." Kingsley said, shoving a bar of chocolate in his hand as he ate one himself. "I imagine that you need it far more than I do."

Sirius stared at him for a moment before unwrapping the bar slowly and taking a small bite. He felt warmth starting low in his chest and spreading throughout the rest of his body almost immediately and a violent shiver overtook him. He'd forgotten what it felt like to be warm and, after having suffered the cold for so long, his body didn't seem to know how to process this sudden change which left him shivering even as he greedily ate the rest of the bar. 

Kingsley wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and Sirius wasn't sure where he'd gotten it from but he pulled it tightly around himself anyway. He noticed that Kingsley kept checking his watch and after a moment, he pulled a tennis ball out of his pocket and held it up.

"You remember how to use a portkey?" He asked and Sirius nodded. "Good. This one leaves in thirty seconds."

"Where are we going?" Sirius asked hesitantly, not sure if he was allowed to know.

"The Ministry." Kingsley said, urging him to grab onto the portkey. Sirius put his hand on it quickly. "I'll explain more when we get there."

The waited for a few more seconds before they were suddenly hurled through space which made his stomach jump slightly. He wasn't used to magical travel anymore and he just hoped that he didn't throw up the chocolate bar he'd eaten. They landed in the portkey office at the ministry and the woman working there gave them a strange look.

"Auror Shaklebolt." She greeted. "Right on time."

"Thank you for the portkey, Aurora." Kingsley said with a nod. "Sorry for the abruptness but we really must be going. We've got matters to attend to."

"Of course." She said, waving her hand dismissively.

He followed Kingsley out into the hallway and towards the elevator on the other side. He noticed that he got a few curious looks and wide-eyed gazes but he ignored them, he didn't particularly want to deal with whatever attention he was getting, especially not when he was unsure what was going to happen now. He expected Kingsley to take him up to the auror department but instead, when they left the elevator, he was led to a room that looked almost like the pictures he'd seen of muggle hotels. He glanced at Kingsley in question.

"There's a bathroom through there for you to shower and I've got the clothes that you were wearing when you were arrested for you to change into or I could get you something else to wear if you like." He said, sitting the bag he'd been carrying down on the bed. "Someone is going to be coming to the Ministry in about an hour to collect you and take you to where you'll be staying but I figured you might want to get out of that outfit before then." 

Sirius looked at the bag. "I don't even know if they'll fit anymore."

"If they don't, I'll get you something else." Kingsley said before he pulled something out of the pocket of his robes. "And I thought you might like this back."

It was his wand. He recognized it immediately and he was left staring at it in utter astonishment coupled with confusion.

"I thought they snapped my wand when I was arrested." He said and Kingsley shook his head.

"Everyone is told that when people go to Azkaban that their wands are snapped but it isn't true." Kingsley said. "It's really just a scare tactic to keep people in line. Really though, the wands of every incarcerated prisoner are kept locked in a special room in the auror department. I made a point of searching yours out after Pettigrew was arrested because I knew they'd have to release you."

"Thank you." He breathed out before he reached for his wand hesitantly. It responded immediately, warming under his hand, and for the first time in years he felt almost human again. His breath left him in a rush.

"I'll leave you to it then." Kingsley said, clearing his throat.  
___

After getting out of the shower, an extra long one with actual warm water and soap, he took his time drying his hair and body. He stared at himself in the mirror for a few moments, noticing that he looked far paler than he'd ever been before and he had dark circles under his eyes but he felt better than he had since the day he'd been arrested. He knew it would probably hit him later and he'd likely lose it then but for now, he felt almost....good, despite everything.

When he finally left the bathroom and stepped back inside the other room to open the bag, he realized that his old leather jacket laid inside. He didn't let himself dwell on the clothes too much as he pulled them on quickly, not wanting to fall into the memories of that night and the following day lest he fall apart right then and there, and he forced himself to take a few deep breaths. 

The jeans and the shirt were a bit looser on him than he remembered but it wasn't so bad that it was a problem, though even his motorcycle boots were a bit big on his feet now. The jacket, strangely, was the only thing that fit like he remembered and he wondered if that was because it had already been slightly big on him before Azkaban so the difference wasn't as noticeable. Whatever it was, he was grateful for it. At least one part of his old life was still as he remembered it. He knew that everything else would be vastly different now so it gave him a slight comfort to have this one thing be the same. He jumped when a knock sounded at the door and he had to force himself to calm down before a voice called through the thin wood. Kingsley again, he recognized.

"Are you ready?" He called and Sirius looked down at himself. His wand was tucked into the inside pocket of the jacket and he was fully dressed but he still felt a bit wary. He supposed that the feeling would just be a part of him now though so he forced himself to shrug and take another deep breath before calling back.

"As ready as I'll ever be." He said. There were a few seconds where it seemed as if Kingsley had hesitated before the door was pushed open and he stepped inside followed by someone that was even more of a surprise than seeing Kingsley at Azkaban had been. "Professor McGonagall?"

"Hello, Sirius." She said, her eyes shining. "It's good to see you."


	5. Chapter 5

**January 24, 1984**

Knowing that McGonagall was going to be bringing Sirius to the cottage that day had Remus a bit out of sorts and he knew that Harry could tell as he'd just moved to the corner of the sitting room and started playing quietly with his toys instead of attempting to get Remus to play the usual, much more rambunctious, games. Remus, for his part, spent the day cleaning the entire house in an attempt to dispel the nervous energy that was buzzing under his skin. He was anxious about seeing Sirius considering how the last couple of years had gone for the two of them but there was also some part of him that was excited. He'd missed Sirius, even before he'd gone to Azkaban, and now that he was assured that he'd been right in the first place and that Sirius was innocent it felt like his heart had been blown wide open for him once more. 

All the longing and love that he'd never been able to fully suppress was just under the surface and he couldn't help but feel that anxiety. It was similar to how he'd felt right before they'd kissed for the first time and how he'd felt when he first said 'I love you' to Sirius. He tried to push it down, to tell himself that Sirius had been in Azkaban and that his feelings could have changed, but he could never get it to fully settle. He'd be Sirius' friend if that was what he needed when he arrived but he'd never be able to not be in love with him. He'd been in love with Sirius for more than half his life at this point and he doubted that it would ever go away considering everything that it had already surived in regards to their relationship. He'd do his best to be there for Sirius in whatever way he needed though because that was the nature of love, wasn't it? Wanting the best for the person you cared about and doing whatever you could to make sure that they got it.

It was only a few minutes after he'd put Harry down for his afternoon nap that a glowing cat Patronus landed on the kitchen table and informed him in McGonagall's voice that she'd be there shortly with Sirius which sent him into another frenzy of nerves but there was nothing left for him to clean or straighten out leaving him just standing in the middle of the room and bouncing on his toes to dispel his energy. Reality was hitting him hard in that moment and he had to take a few deep breaths as he realized that this was actual happening. He was actual about to see Sirius for the first time in years. He just had to hope that McGonagall had explained things in a sufficient enough way that Sirius wouldn't be completely taken by surprise to see him.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, internally freaking out, but it couldn't have been more than a few minutes before a knock came on the door. His breath was coming a bit faster than was probably healthy so he forced himself to once again suck in a few deep breaths before moving toward the door. He stopped right in front of it and blew out a long sigh before twisting the handle and pulling it open.

"Remus." McGonagall greeted with a nod.

"Minerva." He returned but his eyes were settled on the person who followed her inside the house.

He closed the door without glancing away and finally, Sirius lifted his head and their eyes met. Everything went quiet and it seemed as if something settled deep inside him as those stormy grey eyes gazed at him from a face that he knew almost as well as his own.

"Remus." His voice was quiet and reverent, a stark contrast to the no nonsense way that McGonagall had said it, and he felt his breath leave him in a rush. 

He forgot everything in that moment except for the immense love that was making his heart clench in his chest and he reached out to drag the other man into him, making Sirius stumble slightly, and he wrapped his arms around him tightly. Sirius seemed to hesitate for a moment before his arms raised to return the embrace and Remus pressed his nose into the side of his neck. He smelled a bit different, though he really should have expected that, but underneath the strange soap smell was something that was so familiar that Remus felt comforted by it immediately. Sirius had been a part of his life for so long that having him in his arms at that moment and having his scent surrounding him felt a little bit like coming home.

Remus probably could have stayed there forever like that but a slight movement to the side of them reminded him rather starkly that they weren't alone and he pulled back to glance over at McGonagall. She was watching them with soft look that he was almost certain he'd never seen on her before and he cleared his throat lightly and took a small step back from Sirius.

"Right, um. Would you like some tea, Minerva?" He asked and she smiled at him.

"I'd love some, Remus, thank you." She said and he nodded rapidly before moving quickly toward the kitchen and he heard their footsteps following after him.

He set about putting the kettle on and getting the tea ready, thankful to have something to do with his hands, and he heard the chairs at the table being pulled out. He knew, after the kettle went off, that he could no longer avoid moving to sit at the table with them. When he turned to sit everything out in front of them he noticed that Sirius seemed to be studying the environment around him and taking in each detail that made up his home but the moment he heard Remus sit, his eyes settled firmly on him. He shifted slightly under his intense gaze but did his best to ignore it.

"So, Minerva. How are things going at Hogwarts?" He asked. "I heard from Molly that Bill Weasley is doing quite well in his classes."

"Yes, he's quite a good student." She agreed. "I suspect, if he keeps this up, he'll be Head Boy when the time comes."

"Having the Head Boy be a Gryffindor would make you quite happy wouldn't it?" He asked, feeling comfortable enough with her to be able to add a teasing edge to the question.

"It would." She answered, a smile on her face.

"Well, you should savor your peace while it lasts." He said. "I'm sure when Fred and George get to Hogwarts, you'll be wishing they're as well behaved as their brother. They're little trouble makers already."

"You must be quite fond of them then." She said, raising a brow at him and he grinned.

"A bit." He said with a small shrug. "Look on the bright side, you have at least a few years and a couple Weasley brothers before they arrive."

"I'll be sure to prepare before their first year." She said and he nodded.

"You have new scars." Sirius said, his voice quiet. Remus glanced at him and noticed that Sirius was studying his face intently.

"I had a couple bad years." Remus said without elaborating. "The wolf reacts to my emotional state, you remember." 

"I'm sorry." Sirius said, sounding pained and Remus sighed.

"It's not your fault." He said.

"Yes, it is." Sirius said, his eyes dropping to his cup. "If I had just trusted you back then, none of it would have happened. It was my idea to change Secret Keepers. I told Lily and James that I would be the obvious choice and Peter would be safer if his followers tried to get information because they'd come for me first and I truly believed that." His eyes came back up. "But the real reason I switched was because I let Peter into my head and he made me believe that you were the traitor, I let him turn me against you, but I knew even then that I could never have kept it from you. I knew, had you asked, I would have told you anything including where our friends were. If I had just trusted you, I may never have switched. If I had trusted you, I could have been their Secret Keeper and you and I could have disappeared together just like they did and none of it would have happened. It's all my fault, James and Lily, you being alone, Azaban, it was all me."

"Stop." Remus said seriously, shaking his head. "It's not all on you, Sirius. Maybe you're right, maybe we could have disappeared but you don't _know_ that. There's every possibility that you would have been found by his followers before you manged to get away and you would have been tortured and killed. I know that you never would have given them up but if you had been the Secret Keeper and died then the Fidelius Charm would have broken even without you giving them up and they could easily have been found. You don't know what would have happened, not for sure, so stop. What's done is done."

"I should have trusted you." Sirius repeated and Remus left his seat to kneel in front of Sirius. He took his hands in his own and forced him to look at him.

"It's okay." He said, his voice soft. "I understand. No one suspected Peter, not even me, so you can't be faulted for thinking that he could be trusted. Everyone suspected me, I know that, and while it's bullshit that they suspected me solely because of what I am I know that isn't what influenced your opinion. I understand now, looking back, how I could have made you suspect me. I know that I tended to disappear for weeks on missions that you knew nothing about and I couldn't talk about once I was back, I know that I spoke out against the ministry and their treatment of werewolves on the whole, I know that I seemed sympathetic to the werewolves who followed him because I understood their frustration, and I know that all of it added together was enough to give you a reason to doubt me. I'm not saying that it didn't hurt when I realized that you didn't trust me anymore but I understood. I get it, truly I do. It's alright."

"I'm sorry." He said softly once more.

"And if you're looking for someone to blame, direct it toward Peter and hell, even Voldemort himself, but stop blaming yourself." Remus said, squeezing his hands. "If you keep blaming yourself for it all, it will rip you apart and I need you, okay? So stop."

"Remus is right." McGonagall spoke up, reminding them both that she was there. "You put your faith in the wrong person but that doesn't make it your fault, it's _his_ for breaking that trust. If you want to blame someone or you want to hate them, I don't fault you for it, but it's not you who deserves it. Lay those feelings on the right person and don't let it break you. He's already taken so much from you, don't give him more."

Her voice was stern and it sounded a bit like she was giving a lecture to a classroom full of kids but her eyes never left Sirius and Remus saw the moment that her words sunk in. Sirius sat up a bit straighter and nodded once, firmly, and Remus had to repress a smile because he looked like a child that had just been chastised and it reminded him suddenly of the boy he'd first fallen in love with all those years ago. It was a bit of a relief to him because, though he could tell that Sirius' experience in Azkaban had changed him, this moment assured him that the old Sirius, _his_ Sirius, was still in there and he vowed to himself then that he would do everything to drag that part of him back out into the light. 

A sound came from upstairs just as Remus moved back to his seat and he glanced up with a furrowed brow. He knew it had to be Harry but he hadn't expected him to be up so soon. It had only been twenty minutes since he'd put him down for a nape and he usually slept a full hour before getting back up.

"I should get him." He said after a moment, knowing that if he didn't go upstairs that Harry would attempt to come down himself.

It usually wouldn't be a problem, Harry was pretty good at getting down the stairs himself without incident, but he didn't what to just suddenly surprise him with a new person in his midst before he had a moment to process. Technically, Sirius wasn't a new person but Remus was almost certain that Harry wouldn't remember him from when he was a baby so it was better to head him off and explain the situation before reintroducing them. Obviously, he'd already told Harry about Sirius and how he'd be staying in the cottage with them but that had been a couple of days ago when he first realized that Sirius would be released and it couldn't hurt to remind the boy.

When he stood from the table, he noticed Sirius looking at him with wide eyes before they darted toward the ceiling. Remus knew that McGonagall had informed Sirius of exactly who was living here because he'd told her explicitly to do so, so he knew that the other man was aware but now he looked a little panicked. Remus could understand the feeling, being faced with Harry years after losing James and Lily had been hard for him too, but he knew it was a bit different for Sirius. James was Sirius' brother in everything but blood so facing his son, who looked so much like him it was almost scary, would likely be a lot and that wasn't even mentioning the fact that Sirius was Harry's godfather. 

Remus glanced at McGonagall, telling him that she had noticed Sirius' panic as well, before he left the room. He just hoped that she'd be able to calm him down before he returned with Harry because the boy was intuitive and would definitely be able to tell if Sirius was still freaking out.

* * *

When he got upstairs, he found Harry on the landing having already left his room. His hair was a tangle around his head and he was clutching his dog plushie in his hand but despite his still half-closed eyes, he gave Remus a large smile and raised his arms to be picked up. Remus obliged and carried him back into his room to sit him on his bed and hand him his glasses. He'd thought that Harry was a bit small for glasses but when he'd taken him to St. Mungo's for a check up just the week before, the healer had determined that he needed them. Harry still wasn't used to wearing them and tended to forget about them entirely if Remus didn't put them on for him but he did step walking into the edge of things quite so much so it was obvious that the healer had been right about his need for them.

He brushed his fingers through Harry's hair, untangling the curls as best he could without a comb, and Harry seemed content to let him do it as he sat relatively still as he did. Once he was satisfied that it look a bit less like a birds nest, he knelt in front of him and looked up to meet his eyes.

"Do you remember when I told you about the friend of mine that's going to be staying here with us?" He asked and Harry nodded hesitantly. "Well, he's here now with Minerva, you remember her?" Another nod. "And he'd quite like to meet you if you're up for it."

"He's nice?" Harry asked, his standard question for meeting anyone new, and Remus smiled gently.

"Yes, he's nice." Remus said. "I've known him for quiet a long time, you know. He was friends with your mummy and daddy too."

"Like you?" Harry asked and Remus smiled again.

"Just like me." He told him. Harry studied him for a moment, his thumb in his mouth, before he finally nodded hesitantly.

"Okay." He said. "I'll meet him."

"Alright then." Remus said, lifting him off the bed and sitting him on his feet. "Let's go meet him."

Harry was still in his pajama's but Remus didn't think it mattered all that much, Sirius wouldn't care anyway. It took them a minute to get to the bottom of the stairs because Harry insisted he could go down them himself each time and he was still a bit slow at it but once they reached the bottom, Remus paused for a moment. He knew that Sirius and McGonagall could likely hear them coming and he wanted to give Sirius a moment to collect himself before he saw Harry again to make sure that it all went smoothly.

Harry glanced up at him at the pause but didn't try to pull him further like he normally would and Remus smiled down at him before proceeding into the kitchen. Minerva and Sirius were sitting just as he'd left them but Sirius look considerably more collected than he had when he'd left the room which he was relieved about even if it was just a facade. Harry paused next to the table and stared at Sirius with a concentrated look on his face and Sirius looked back without moving as if he was afraid to do or say anything. Remus felt like he was holding his breath as he waited for one of them to do something.

Finally, Harry took a few hesitant steps toward Sirius that made his eyes go a bit wider but he still didn't move or give any other indication of what he was thinking or feeling. Harry stopped next to his chair and looked up at him, his brow furrowed in an adorable way, before he reached up and touched the end of Sirius hair lightly. Sirius didn't even seem to be breathing.

"The same." Harry said and Sirius' head cocked to the side, similar to how it did when he was in his animagus form, and Remus had to stop himself from snorting.

"What's that, Harry?" He asked instead. Harry glanced over at him for a moment.

"We're the same." He said, keeping one hand on Sirius hair as he laid his dog plushie on the table to grab one of his own curls with his other hand. "See?"

"Hmm, I suppose you are." He said with a smile. Their dark, curly, hair was really the only similarity between the two of them given their different skin tones and eye colors and general features but he thought it was cute that Harry had chosen to focus on the one thing they had in common. Harry seemed content with his response as he promptly climbed up into Sirius' lap and glanced at the table.

"Tea?" He asked.

Remus turned away to hide the grin that came in response to the look on Sirius' face as he looked to Harry in his lap and by the time he turned back around to place a cup in front of Harry, Sirius had managed to school his features from the utterly shocked expression to something more neutral but Remus could still read the fondness and astonishment in his eyes.

"He's been with you all this time?" Sirius asked quietly after a moment and Remus felt the shame hit him all at once.

"No." He said quietly, bringing his cup to his lips to avoid the questioning look he could feel Sirius giving him.

"After everything happened, Albus insisted that Harry be placed with his aunt and uncle in Surrey." McGonagall spoke up quickly and Remus shook his head.

"You don't need to make excuses for me, Minerva." He said immediately. He forced himself to look up and meet Sirius' eyes. "I was a mess, after everything, and I was drinking probably a bit too much in an effort not to think about all of it. It's true that Albus thought placing him with his aunt and uncle was for the best and probably wouldn't have given him to me if I'd asked, but it's also true that I didn't even think of asking about him until four months ago."

"Remus." McGonagall said with an edge of reprimand. "What happened is not your fault. You should follow the same advice that I just gave Sirius, put the blame where it belongs, not on yourself."

"What happened?" Sirius asked, glancing down at Harry who was sipping at his tea. Remus was just glad that he didn't seem to be paying attention to their conversation.

"I got sober and my first thought when I did was about him. He was all that was left of us, or so I believed then, and I wanted to check on him." Remus began. "I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't even know where he was. After that night and your arrest the next day, all I could think about was my grief but I was still convinced that you were innocent and that kept me distracted for a while as I tried to get Dumbledore, or Moody, or anyone to believe me so I didn't even think about asking about Harry. I knew he was alive but that was about it." He sighed and ran his hand over his face. "But then everyone kept telling me I was wrong, that you were guilty, and I let them convince me and betrayal joined the grief. I spiraled and Harry was the last thing on my mind."

"By then, Albus had already taken Harry to his aunt and uncle." McGonagall said. "I advised against it. I watched them for a whole day and I thought the seemed like the worst sort of muggles but he wouldn't listen. When I protested, he said that they were the only family that Harry had left. I'm sad to say that I failed in that moment as well because I didn't even think about Remus even when I knew who close you all had been."

"I don't blame you." Remus was quick to say before moving on with the explanation. "Anyway, once I was sober enough to have a coherent thought again it was quiet easy to work out where Harry had ended up. As Albus said, they were the only family he had. So, I went to their house with the intent to see Harry. I had no plans to take him away, I just wanted to check in and make sure that he was okay, but then I actually got there and the whole plan changed when I realized what was happening."

"What was happening?" Sirius asked, his eyes flickering between them.

Remus glanced at Harry once more and realized that he was now looking at them, fully attentive, and he blew out a sigh before standing from his chair and lifting Harry out of Sirius' lap in order to move him over to his pile of toys in the sitting room. He could still be seen from the table but Remus knew that, sitting here surrounded by his toys, that he wouldn't be listening so closely to their conversation. 

When he moved back to the table, Sirius was still looking at him with an intense look on his face and Remus blew out a breath as he exchanged a look with McGonagall. He knew what he said next wouldn't be well received, he'd been pissed when he first realized, and he just had to hope that whatever Sirius' reaction was that he could handle it.

"They were abusing him." Remus said softly, his eyes flicking to Harry for a moment before coming back to Sirius. Sirius was gripping the edge of the table so hard that his knuckles were white and his entire body had gone rigid with tension.

"What?" He asked, his voice low and dangerous. Almost a growl.

"I don't know the full extent of it but I'm sure that you've noticed the fact that Harry is much smaller than other kids his age." Remus said seriously. "I don't think they were feeding him very much while he was there and he has a few habits that speak to that being the case. But when I went to see him, and this was really what prompted me going straight to Dumbledore and telling him in no uncertain terms that I was going to take Harry, I realized that he had bruises."

"Bruises!?" Sirius asked, his voice loud in the quiet of the kitchen, and Remus noticed immediately when Harry tensed and looked over with wide eyes.

"Shh!" Remus hissed, on his feet immediately. "Harry doesn't like loud voices. You're scaring him."

He took a step toward the sitting room and Harry was already on his feet and rushing over to Remus. He burst into tears, his sobs ringing out loudly, the moment that Remus lifted him into his arms. He bounced him gently, patting his back in a way that always seemed to calm him, as he made soft shushing sounds. He noticed that Sirius was staring at them with guilt written all over his face making him look particularly distressed and Remus sighed lightly.

"I'm sorry." Sirius said softly. "I didn't mean to."

"I know." Remus answered, keeping his voice gentle.

It took a couple of minutes for Harry's sobs to subside to soft sniffled and Remus ran his hand over his hair and he leaned back to look at him. He cheeks were wet with tears and his eyes and nose were bright red but he seemed calm enough. Remus used his sleeve to wipe the tears from his face before giving him a gentle smile.

"It's alright, Harry. You're alright." He said softly. "Sirius didn't mean to scare you, he was just startled himself."

Harry peaked over at Sirius, who still had a stricken look on his face, and Remus gave him a look that seemed to snap him out of it. Sirius stood up and approached them cautiously, his hands out in front of him.

"I'm very sorry, Harry." He said in a voice that was impossibly gentle. "I didn't mean to scare you and I'll make an effort not to do it again. Can you forgive me?"

Harry looked at him for a moment as if waiting for him to do something else but when Sirius just kept his gaze on him and didn't move, a hesitant smile crossed his face and he nodded.

"Okay." He said softly.

"Okay." Sirius said, smiling back.

Remus knew that he was still angry and that he'd definitely want to talk about Harry's aunt and uncle later but for now he seemed to settle. After a moment Harry wiggled down from his arms and took Sirius' hand to drag him over to his toys. Remus watched for a moment before moving back to his seat to finish his cup of tea and Minerva looked at him.

"I should get back to Hogwarts." She said after a moment. "Can you handle things here?"

He knew what she was really asking.

"I've been handling Sirius since we were eleven years old." He said softly. "I'll be alright."

She nodded firmly and stood from the table before moving to say goodbye to Sirius and Harry. Remus led her to the door and waiting until she'd disappeared beyond the wards before closing it and just like that, he was alone with Sirius. Not really alone, due to Harry, but as alone as they could be given the circumstances. It was a little daunting but he took a deep breath anyway and moved toward the sitting room. He couldn't avoid it forever.

* * *

**January 25, 1984**

The next morning, he woke up just as the sun was peaking into the sky and he knew that he wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon. Last night, he'd set Sirius up in the guest bedroom of the small cottage after Harry had gone to sleep and had promptly retreated to his own room to avoid any awkward conversation that was sure to creep up. As luck would have it, he hadn't been able to fall asleep afterwards. 

His mind was entirely focused on the fact that Sirius was in the house meaning that he was entirely unable to sleep as that annoying voice in his head kept reminding him that he and Sirius hadn't spent a night in the same place without sharing a bed since about the middle of fifth year at Hogwarts. He felt all too aware of the extra presence in the cottage and so, it was impossible for him to sleep.

He'd finally fallen asleep in the small hours of the morning due to basic exhaustion but the fact that the sun was just barely rising told him that he hadn't slept that much. He groaned softly and pressed his pillow over his head for a few minutes before resigning himself to the fact that he'd be downing a lot of tea today. He sighed and rolled to the edge of the bed to sit up and stretch his muscles before fully getting up and padding across the room to the door.

He went directly across the hall to Harry's room and pushed the door open to find him just sliding out of bed as well causing him to glance at the clock. Six o'clock. He shook his head before pressing a kiss to the top of Harry's head and ushering him into the bathroom so they could brush their teeth and Remus could wash his face. He noticed a bit of light stubble but it was much to early for him to even consider shaving so he just shrugged and made his way downstairs.

Harry brought over a few of his plastic animals from his toy basket and proceeded to play with them as he sat at the table and Remus ruffled his hair as he moved past to get things out of the icebox for breakfast. He made scrambled eggs with diced tomatoes and cheese sprinkled in along with some bacon and toast because it was simple and easy and Harry loved it so he usually wouldn't complain. After finishing it up, he put some on a plate for Harry and slid it in front of him before filling a cup with orange juice and sitting it where he could reach it easily.

He was in the process of making himself a cup of tea when Sirius wondered in and sat next to Harry. His hair had been pulled up into the same messy bun that he'd been fond of from seventh year on and it made Remus' heart clench a bit to see it now. Sirius looked so young with his hair up like that and it made Remus realize that they still _were_. He was only _twenty-three,_ for fuck's sake. He'd be twenty-four in March and Sirius already was, but it was still so young.

He'd known that, obviously, and had even called out Dumbledore for recruiting them when they were barely out of Hogwarts but he'd never really realized just how much life they still had to live. He didn't know if it was the war that had aged him so much or if it was just being a werewolf but looking at Sirius then, it made him want to be young for just a moment, to reclaim the youth they'd lost. But he knew that wasn't possible. They couldn't go back, too much had happened for them pretend otherwise, still he wanted it. For just a moment.

"Breakfast?" He asked instead, shoving all of the melancholy thoughts from his mind.

"Oh, um....if it wouldn't be too much trouble." Sirius said, sounding more unsure than Remus had ever heard him and he was suddenly reminded that Sirius had spent the last two years in prison. His food choices likely hadn't been the best and, judging by his skinny frame, he hadn't had much in the first place.

"Of course it's no trouble." Remus said before fixing him a plate and cup of tea alongside his own. He sat it in front of him before grabbing his own and joining him and Harry at the table.

"He doesn't have a high chair?" Sirius asked, glancing over at Harry who was shoveling eggs into his mouth as he leaned over his plate in that protective way Remus had quickly grown familiar with.

"I doubt he'd use it if he did." Remus said with a shrug. "Besides, I think he's a bit to old for a high chair anyway."

"Yeah but he's kind of tiny." Sirius said, before putting a piece of egg in his mouth hesitantly. Remus shrugged again.

"Anyway, I was thinking we could go into town later to get you some clothes if you're feeling up to it." He said, looking at Sirius. "It's totally fine if you don't want to, you can borrow some of mine until you feel ready to leave the cottage, but I thought I'd ask."

"Into town?" Sirius asked, his eyes flickering to Harry again. "Would that be safe for him? I can't imagine that the Ministry has managed to round up every Death Eater considering how sit they are in regards to the criminal system."

"It's a muggle town and Harry has been there plenty of times before." Remus explained. "I don't take him into the wizarding world if I can help it. The most interaction he has with wizarding things is when he stays with Molly Weasley and her family during the full moon each month." 

"Ron's my best friend." Harry piped up and Remus smiled at him.

"I know." He said with a grin before turning to Sirius. "Ron is Molly's youngest son. He's only a few months older than Harry so they get on great."

"Molly Weasley. That's Fabian and Gideon's sister, isn't it?" Sirius asked after a moment and Remus nodded.

"Yeah." He said. "She's really nice. She's got seven of her own kids but she treats Harry just like one of her own when he's over. He loves her."

"Good. That's good." Sirius said, nodding lightly before he seemed to remember what they were talking about. "Um, I'd wouldn't mind going into town. I think it would be nice."

"Alright then, we'll get ready to go right after we finish up breakfast and get dressed." Remus said. Harry looked up again.

"Can we go to the park?" Harry asked.

"We'll see." Remus said, knowing that their trip would be determined by how Sirius reacted being around other people after being in Azkaban for so long. Harry didn't push for a definite answer though, which he was grateful for, and instead went back to his breakfast.

___

After getting Harry and himself dressed, he met Sirius near the door and they stepped outside together. He made quick work of locking the front door and casting the wards that would let him know if it was opened in his absence. He knew it was likely unnecessary given all the wards already in place that made their cottage essentially invisible to anyone but them but it made him feel better so he did it anyway. 

Harry skipped along happily between them as they walked the short distance to town and Remus noticed that Sirius stayed close as they entered the town properly. He was tense and it wasn't hard to notice that his hand hovered close to where he had his wand tucked into his front pocket. Remus rested a hand on his arm and squeezed lightly.

"It's alright." He said softly. "We're safe here, trust me."

Sirius nodded jerkily and his eyes stopped darting around looking for threats but he still didn't relax fully. Remus left it alone then, he knew himself how hard it was to stop looking over your shoulder for a threat after going through the war, it had taken him the better part of a year, and Sirius had never gotten the chance to learn to lower his guard. He'd been in prison from the day the war ended.

Harry stopped at the door to the store they'd gone months ago to get his own clothing, which Remus had thankfully remembered that he could alter with magic instead of having to replace completely as he grew, and smiled back at them. Remus pushed the door open when they got close enough but instead of stopping near the front where the children's section was, he led Sirius back to the adult section.

"Go ahead and look around." He said. "Harry and I will just be over here."

He waved toward the chairs sat up next to the changing rooms and Sirius nodded. Remus didn't want to be too far away from him just in case he panicked but he also wanted to give him the opportunity to do something on his own. Sirius had always been fiercely independent and Remus knew that was still buried inside him somewhere even if, right now, he was a little skittish due to his confinement.

Harry was happy to sit beside him quietly for a time, forever the calm child, and it was easy for Remus to drift off into his thoughts. He was brought back to himself by a small hand patting his cheek and was left blinking up at Sirius who was staring at him with a raised brow and a stack of clothes over his arm telling him that he'd been staring into space for longer than he'd thought.

"Sorry, didn't sleep well." He said quickly, his cheeks heating a bit. "Are you finished?" 

"I think so." Sirius said, glancing down at the clothes. "For now, at least."

"Alright, come on then." He said, standing up and Sirius followed after him toward the front of the store and the register. When they got near the front, Harry pulled away from him making Remus spin immediately to follow him with his eyes. "Harry!"

"Look!" Harry exclaimed in an excited voice, his feet taking him over to the children's clothes again. Remus sighed and followed after him until they came to a stop by a display of little leather jackets with zips all over them. Harry looked up with a smile, his eyes going to Sirius. "It's like yours."

Remus looked up at Sirius who was staring at Harry in surprise before his eyes moved to the leather covering his own arms as if he was surprised to see it there and Remus had to smile.

"Yes, it is, Harry." He said when it became clear that Sirius wasn't going to say anything. 

Harry studied Sirius for a long moment, his eyes seeming to trace over every inch of him, before he looked back at the display. Remus raised a brow in question when Harry reached out to touch the jacket lightly with his fingers.

"Can I have it, Remy?" He asked and Remus' brow raised higher.

"You want this jacket?" He asked and Harry nodded.

"I like it." He said before glancing at Sirius again. "We're the same, remember?"

He touched his hair then and Remus understood what he meant. He knew, in his own unique way, that Harry was trying to welcome Sirius and make him happy and it made him want to hug the little boy tightly. His heart was so big and he was such a pure soul that he reminded Remus rather suddenly of Lily.

"Alright." He said quietly. "You can get it. I think you'll look so cool in it."

Harry grinned and proceeded to jump up and down while Remus looked for his size before handing it over and it was then that he noticed Sirius' expression. For the first time since he'd come to the cottage, he was wearing a genuinely happy smile and Remus was happy to see it. For the first time he felt like they'd all recover from all the darkness that had enveloped their lives, slowly but surely, together.

___

They had ended up going to the park for a couple of hours after leaving the store and Sirius had seemed almost more excited about it than Harry. Remus had found himself sitting on a bench while the two of them ran around in the grass playing a spirited game of tag but he hadn't minded as it gave him the opportunity to just watch them interact. It was obvious to him that, though Harry clearly didn't remember Sirius, their relationship would end up being as strong as it had been before everything had happened.

The slight downside to going to the park, though, was that it was a nice day which they didn't get much of in January in Yorkshire so that meant that a lot of the people from around town were also spending time there. This didn't seem to bother Sirius, which is what he'd been worried about, but it was still not the best situation. He knew that most of these people had seen him quite a bit with Harry and had assumed certain things about his relationship status and Harry's other parent that he could see being challenged in their minds. 

It would have been easy for them to assume that Sirius was a family friend who was just hanging out with them for the day and that would have been it for a while but then Sirius had bounded over to him in excitement when he'd called for them to make their way home and, seeming to forget their current relationship status, his two year imprisonment, and the fact that they were very much in public, and had kissed him fully on the mouth. It would have been inevitable for people to see them together more and rush to conclusions that weren't far off the mark but this had all just sort of accelerated it a bit.

They'd both frozen when they had realized what had happened and Sirius had jerked away with wide eyes full of surprise while Remus' gaze darted around to confirm that everyone in their vicinity had witnessed what happened. He had cleared his throat and forced his own feelings on the subject out of his mind before picking up Harry and rapidly exiting the park with Sirius trailing after him looking equal parts embarrassed and scared.

When they'd gotten back to the cottage they'd both, without words, agreed not to address it until they were alone and went about the rest of the day like everything was normal. But, dinner had been cooked and eaten and Harry had been put down to bed, so they were no longer able to ignore it.

"I'm sorry." Sirius said quietly before Remus could even gather his thoughts to attempt a conversation.

"I really wish you'd stop apologizing." He responded with a sigh.

"I'm -" He cut himself off when Remus gave him a look before he shook his head. "I mean, I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I really didn't mean to do that, it was just sort of instinct. I guess it never really went away, even with everything."

"Instinct." Remus said with a small laugh. "Strange instinct, that, but I can understand it. Even when we were fighting, even in those last few months when it seemed like all we could do, we never stopped kissing each other. I guess it makes sense."

"Still, it was unexpected." Sirius said, picking at his nails lightly. "And I know our relationship isn't _that_ anymore so I felt like I should apologize."

Remus stared at him for a long few moments while his brain processed what he'd said, and what he _hadn't_ , before he reached over and grabbed Sirius' hand in his own. Sirius looked up immediately and their eyes locked.

"Are you.....I mean, do you want our relationship to be like that still?" He asked, feeling like his heart was about to beat out of his chest. Sirius' eyes darted around his face, seeming to take in each feature, before his shoulders straightened.

"I've never stopped loving you, Remus." He said, his voice earnest. "Not even when I thought you were the traitor. I still loved you, even then, I don't think I can ever stop. You're it for me, you always have been, I thought you knew that."

"Oh." Remus said softly, his mind going blank for a moment. "I thought you might not want me like that anymore. Two years is a long time, after all."

"I could have been in Azkaban for ten years, or twelve, or for the rest of my life, and I would never stop wanting you like that, Remus. I would never stop loving you." Sirius said, his voice soft but firm as he kept his eyes on Remus'. "The question is, what do you want?"

Remus stared at him in stunned silence for only a moment more before pulling him in suddenly. Their lips met for the first time in over two years and everything seemed to right itself. He'd thought that hugging Sirius felt like coming home but he was wrong, _this_ was that moment, that feeling, the one that he'd never truly forgotten and that his mind had seemingly been waiting for. Home, _finally_.


End file.
